A mother said that her son “violently vomited five Sunday nights in a row” because he suffered such anxiety about going to school. 

School avoidance has increased significantly in recent years, with research by Barnado’s revealing that one fifth of primary school children and one third of secondary school pupils avoid going to school at least once a month for non-medical reasons.

On Lunchtime Live, mother Christine said she still monitors Facebook groups where parents go for support and describes the problem as “so, so common”. 

“Unfortunately, I just think the Government is still sticking their head in the sand about it because it's still, or should they have to just get on with it?” she said. 

“Your kids just have to go and parents are going to have to be stricter in that. 

“But in the majority of situations, the parents are doing and have done everything.”

Her son began to feel anxious about attending school when he was in third class, something she ‘never thought would happen in my house’, having worked in education herself for many years. 

“He kind of started in third class basically with a male teacher for the first time with this reputation of being strict and stern,” she explained. 

“That kind of started his anxiety, so it would be hiding under the bed, literally the far corner of the bed, hiding under it. 

“You'd nearly drag him out with by the arm to get him out, get him to school, holding onto the school railings, doing all these kind of things.

“But he actually got through it.” 

While Christine’s son’s anxiety temporarily improved, the arrival of a new principal at his school saw him suddenly regress.  

“There was a new principal that had come along around the same time and witnessed this ‘bad behaviour’ in her eyes, that the child wasn't doing what he was told, going into school, this kind of thing,” she recalled. 

“So, the next few years just turned into hell for him because she just picked on him.” 

Eventually, the family decided he would decide to move schools and when he transferred to secondary school, teachers were keen to help him settle in. 

“In fairness, at that time in that school, I wouldn't fault the school one bit,” Christine said. 

“They tried, they'd come out and meet him when he would go in; there were two particular teachers who took an interest in him.” 

However, despite the support, Christine’s son soon began to feel worried about attending school and at one point “violently vomited five Sunday nights in a row”. 

“In hindsight, we now know things that were being said and done,” she said. 

“He was just so terrified going in, so anxious about the return to school every Monday.”

Advice

Also on the programme, neurodevelopmental therapist Alwyn Moore said she can “only imagine the stress” that Christine’s household endured. 

Ms Moore continued that there has been a “huge rise” in anxiety around school attendance since COVID, which disrupted routine and structure. 

“If we want to reframe it as school refusal, really it's not kids refusing to go to school just because they don't want to - it's actually something physiological,” she suggested. 

“The more you try to dismiss it, the harder and the bigger it becomes for them. 

“So, a better way to look at it is to reframe it as school avoidance or school-based anxiety.

“It's really important that in using the term anxiety, particularly with children, that you don't allow them to say, ‘I have anxiety’ - it's that they are anxious about a situation, it's external to them.

“Just to frame that in case we're talking about a school-based anxiety thing there.”

Main image: An upset child. Picture by: Alamy.com.