While the current school term is coming to a close, many families are already planning ahead for the next September.

This week on Parenting, one mother asked for advice on deciding whether to enrol her daughter in junior infants this year.

“I’m really struggling to decide whether to send my second daughter to primary school this September at four-and-a-half-years-old, or hold off another year,” she told Moncrieff.

“She’s completed two years of ECI (Early Childhood Ireland), and we started her early with the intention of sending her to school this year.

“However, as the time draws closer, I’m more and more unsure.

“She’s quite mature, both socially and emotionally, managing well in social situations, and is independent in terms of putting on her shoes and coats, etc.

“She’s able to communicate and express her own feelings and emotions but does not cope well with being reprimanded or disciplined if she’s done something she’s not supposed to and often breaks down in tears.”

The letter writer said that her daughter sometimes displays “babyish behaviours, particularly since her baby brother arrived last year”, which has her mother questioning whether the girl is ready for primary school.

A toddler is seen at an outdoor playground in September 2018. Picture by: sondem / Alamy Stock Photo

Family psychotherapist Joanna Fortune said that this can be a difficult decision for parents to make, as every child will have different needs.

“This child, in the opening bit of this letter, I was like, gosh she sounds really ready, like this child is flying it and it all sounds okay,” she said.

“But then you describe her being kind of babyish, so there’s a contradiction there."

'Context specific'

Joanna said that while this parent is right to prioritise her child’s emotional readiness over her more academic capabilities, the girl’s immaturity after the birth of her brother is not unusual.

“If you feel she is emotionally ready, but she’s having this wobble since her brother came, that’s very context specific,” she said.

“For what was your youngest child, now the middle child, to emotionally regress with a new baby coming into the family is not unusual; it’s transient regression.

“You could see that she goes into big school with kids who are a little older than her, she could thrive – she could actually mature upwards to match their level.”

According to Joanna, it would be worth having a conversation with the girl’s ECI teachers, who may be able to offer their own perspective on the issue.

Overall, she said this parent should trust her gut and go with what she feels is right.

Main image: Primary school classroom during a lesson