As the Leaving Cert begins once again, many parents will be wondering what they can do to help their children cope with what is, for most, the most stressful experience of their lives so far. 

On Newstalk Breakfast, psychotherapist Stella O’Malley said she believes it is “unfortunate” children are still put through this “pretty tortuous rite of passage”. 

“Nowadays, there’s so many backdoors, they don’t need to be as intent about the Leaving Cert,” she said. 

“It’s just got its own kind of myth, it’s got this power around it. 

“So, everyone still holds it in this kind of esteem, when it’s not in that position anymore.” 

An exam hall. Picture by: AG News/Alamy Live News

Ms O’Malley continued that an ability to stay calm when life doesn’t go the way you expected is a “very crucial part” of maintaining good mental health. 

“Understanding that it’s not that you have to go these specific steps, it’s that you’re on the right journey and you’re enjoying  yourself on the way,” she said. 

“So, when we’re anxious we can become very tight and we hold a very tight grasp on what we think should happen. 

“We collapse very easily when those very specific things don’t happen; when you’re in a better state mentally, it’s when you realise that, ‘A didn’t happen but B is going to happen.’ 

“That’s going to happen during the exams - because whatever poet won’t turn up or whatever happens. 

“Some people collapse as a result of it.” 

Students in Finglas. Picture by: Alamy.com.

Despite this, Ms O’Malley added that some people can benefit from a certain level of stress. 

“It propels us along, you can feel this kind of ‘game on’,” she said. 

“Muhammed Ali and Elvis Presely, who were real kind of show people. 

“There’s the odd person who turns on with the stress and the adrenaline and it brings them to heights.”

Perspective

However, Ms O’Malley said parents stressing about their child is another matter. 

Instead, they should try and help their child realise that life is a “long game”, rather than a sprint that depends entirely on a good Leaving Certificate. 

“This needs perspective, this needs a philosophical kind of point of view of just trying to, in the long run, look for a nice life, a happy life, a successful life - that we believe entails you going to this course and that university,” she said. 

“But we don’t know if that’s true. 

“What we actually know was that you want to be happy and you’ve got an awful lot of talents in life that will allow you to be happy. 

“Our job is to make sure that you see the long game and keep perspective, rather than thinking it’s all about point A - because it’s not.”

Main image: A student with his English paper 1. Picture by: AG News/Alamy Live News.