On this week’s So You Think You’re an Adult, one person thinks they’re being bullied and excluded at work.

“I love my job but in recent years the company has grown,” they told Moncrieff. 

“While I get along really well with people on an individual basis, I think I’m being excluded. 

“I feel like I am always spoken over when we’re in group settings, like I’m dismissed from the conversation. 

“I also know they’ve had after-work drinks a few times and not invited me, but then I see it on social media. 

“No one has called me names or threatened me, but is this kind of behaviour a form of bullying?” 

'Victim mentality'

Writer Barbara Scully said she feels sorry for the person, but she doesn’t think this counts as bullying at work.

“It's not nice to be in a workplace setting where you feel you're being ignored by your colleagues,” she said. 

“But there is a slight kind of victim mentality going on here. 

“It sounds like this is a person who doesn't have a huge amount of self-confidence anyway to begin with and this kind of stuff is just undermining it further. 

She said feeling “dismissed” from conversations, such as someone disagreeing with you, “happens all the time”. 

“I think the issue of going for drinks after work is different because I think that perhaps the colleagues just assumed that this person isn't interested for whatever reason.” 

The writer had also said that one colleague always gets coffee for the same people, excluding them. 

Work versus friendships

Broadcaster Declan Buckley pointed out someone “can't walk around to every desk” taking orders. 

“Separate the distinction between the social friendship side from the holding your own space at work, being assertive in meetings,” he said. 

“Stuff that happens in the workplace is different to stuff that happen in the real world. 

“Meeting friends... that’s different to what will happen inside a workspace where your employer has certain kind of responsibilities and obligations.” 

Declan and Barbara agreed it’s important to remember something in work might personally annoy you, but it’s difficult to call that bullying in the workplace.