This week on Parenting, one mother asked for advice on managing her seven-year-old's jealousy towards his younger brother.

“I have two boys, one aged five and the other age seven,” she told Moncrieff.

“They both get on well with each other – but my seven-year-old has become a very jealous child.

“If another child has a toy he wants, he goes over and takes it on them and causes the other child to become upset, which he shows no remorse for.”

The letter writer said her eldest son had recently left her five-year-old bawling crying in the garden after saying something “really mean” to him.

Two kids fighting. Image: Leila Cutler / Alamy. 28 August 2009

She believed her seven-year-old was jealous his brother had been getting on with his aunt earlier in the day, and said she could “no longer trust” him to be alone with his younger brother.

“I’m afraid that he will grow into a really jealous person when he’s older and [that this will] have a long-term effect on my five-year-old if this keeps continuing.

“I don’t know what’s the best way to address him – is this normal, and will he grow out of it?”

'Guide him through this'

Family psychotherapist Joanna Fortune said no child grows out of a behaviour of their own free will.

“He needs to be grown out of it, if that makes sense,” she said.

“He needs a parent who’s going to guide him through this and hold that boundary that this isn’t okay."

Joanna said this parent should consider if there have been any major life changes recently that could have triggered this behaviour.

Little moody boy. Image: Angela Hampton Picture Library / Alamy. 3 April 2016

“How are things in school? How are things with activities? Is there any life change now from the perspective of a seven-year-old – that might be changes to childcare, that might be changes in his friend group,” she said.

“Anything that could explain that he’s feeling out of sorts somewhere else in his life and he’s seeking control at home, which is to dominate the younger brother.

“But when a child is showing controlling behaviour – which I think this child is – I don’t think it’s just jealousy.

“I’m always curious – what purpose is control serving for him? Where else in his life is he experiencing no control that he is exerting it so aggressively at home?”

'Find the fear that's behind it'

According to Joanna, this parent may gain an insight by pulling her eldest son aside during a calm moment to talk through his feelings with him.

“Try and find the fear that’s behind it,” she said.

“Try as best you can in a busy home to increase some one-to-one time with him, because he might benefit from those moments of just feeling really special when he has all of your focus.”

However, Joanna said this parent needs to firmly reinforce that this boy cannot go on treating his younger brother the way he has, especially to prevent the behaviour from spilling over into school.

She also recommended play therapy if this mother feels she is getting nowhere by herself.

Main image: Parenting struggles as two young boys fight in a field, with one fallen on the ground. Image: Amani A / Alamy Stock Photo