A woman whose son was stillborn said it was “heartbreaking” that she and her husband were denied the chance to register him on the State's Stillbirth Register. 

Since September 2024, parents have been able to register a stillborn baby if they weigh at least 400 grams or have a 23-week gestation period. 

Any child born before 23 weeks or weighing less cannot be registered - something that has caused Niamh Murphy and her husband, James, huge distress. 

On Lunchtime Live, Ms Murphy recalled how she and her husband were “delighted” when they realised she was pregnant with their second child. 

For the first five months, it seemed like a “very normal pregnancy” and Ms Murphy arrived at her 21 week scan, excited to learn the baby’s sex. 

“She started at the head, was working her way to the body,” Ms Murphy said. 

“And she's saying, ‘The baby is beautiful and perfect looking.’

“And then she got to the heart, then she went very, very quiet and then she finished scanning.

“And I said, ‘So, is it a boy or girl?’ And she goes, ‘I'm afraid I can't tell you at this stage, it's just the way the baby's positioned.’ 

“And I was like, ‘Oh, I'm so disappointed.’” 

The sonographer said they had to talk and Ms Murphy felt faint and her heart sank. 

“She said she's after finding a few anomalies, the baby's measuring small and the heart hasn't developed properly,” she recalled. 

“So, we're taken to a private room and we were told that we would be linked in with fetal medicine in Cork University Maternity Hospital.”

The couple were sent over to the hospital to see the consultant obstetrician, who carried out a second scan and confirmed the baby was very small and its heart was not developing right. 

“They recommended something called an amniocentesis, which would rule out any kind of genetic disorders that could be causing any of these anomalies,” she said. 

“So, I did the amniocentesis there and then we were sent home and told to come back in a week's time for the results and to scan again.”

What followed was a very long week and when she returned for the second scan, Ms Murphy could just tell by the doctor’s face that there was no heartbeat. 

“I just remember screaming, ‘No, no, no,’” Ms Murphy recalled. 

“And she held my hand and said, ‘I'm so sorry, but there's no heartbeat.’ She knew the baby had passed away.

“So, that was devastating.” 

'Those three days were the hardest thing'

The couple arranged with the hospital that Ms Murphy would come into the hospital after the weekend to deliver the baby. 

“It was just like giving birth, like any other normal birth, like it was painful,” she said. 

“You know, I had pain medication, I had to push, I had to give birth. 

“And it was the most heartbreaking thing, giving birth to a baby that's no longer alive.” 

They named him Oran and her mother had knitted him a little outfit. The family spent three days together. 

“He was so tiny, but he had the most gorgeous hands and gorgeous feet,” Ms Murphy said. 

“And those three days were the hardest thing I've ever been through, but they were also the most special. 

“I would give anything to go back to the moment where I got to hold him for the first time and to have that time with him again.” 

Stillbirth register

What shocked the couple was learning that because he was born at 22 weeks gestation, the family could not register Oran on the Stillbirth Register. 

Had he been born at 23 weeks, his birth could have been registered. 

“I remember just being really sad about that,” Ms Murphy said. 

“I remember being like, ‘So, there's going to be no record of my son on this Stillbirth Register? Like almost like he never existed?” 

Ms Murphy strongly believes that she should have had the chance to register Oran’s birth and hopes one day her family will be able to do it retrospectively. 

“It would mean so, so much to me and James and our family who've all gone through this,” she said. 

“It's heartbreaking; it's something that sounds really simple, but it's so, so important to be able to have Oran's life recognised.”

She also wants women who experience pregnancy loss to be entitled to Statutory Leave. 

While her own work was supportive, Ms Murphy is acutely aware other families are not so lucky.

“I have a fire in my belly about this,” she said. 

“I will be and always will be an advocate for this. 

“And I'm happy to help in any way I can to talk about it and to campaign about it.”

Advocacy groups have previously called for a review of gestational thresholds, arguing that recognition can play an important role in bereavement and mental health after pregnancy loss.

If you have been impacted by pregnancy loss, you can contact Féileacáin on admin@feileacain.ie

Main image: A woman holding her pregnant belly. Picture by: Alamy.com.