A mother of a young disabled woman has said she had no choice but to abandon her daughter in an emergency department because she fears the stress of caring for her would kill her. 

The mother, who asked to be called Anna, said she had no choice but to take drastic action because she feared for her own safety and that of her two younger children. 

On Lunchtime Live, Anna described her oldest daughter as “quite challenging” but had received little support from the State, despite repeated requests. 

 “We've been reaching out, looking for support for many, many years and most recently escalated that, at a time, where there was a mother in the country who was killed by her own son,” she explained. 

“That sent shivers through our spines in the family. We were kind of thinking that could be our story.” 

Anna’s daughter is now in her early 20s and the responsibility of caring for her has left her entire family “utterly exhausted”. 

“She has a diagnosis of having a mild intellectual disability - but I question that hugely,” Anna continued.  

“So she's in the extremely low range of the mild category, but with huge behaviour problems in our home. 

“Approximately about two years ago, she was very threatening towards me, very aggressive. 

“She was coming to attack me in the home and I had to use her propelled force to get her out of the door and actually lock her outside.” 

Anna’s daughter moved in with her father and stepmother, who she previously stayed with on the weekend. 

Quite quickly, her father too felt unable to care properly for her. 

“Her stepmother was assaulted by her,” Anna added. 

“She's stolen money from her grandmother - who's elderly and unwell - and lies and implicates people in the lies, dangerous lies.

“We're trying to manage all of this and keep our other young children in our homes safe.”

'I love her dearly and I want the best for her'

Eventually, Anna reached the difficult conclusion that she could no longer care for her daughter. 

“My concern is, you know, even the impact of the stress on the parents and the caregivers to continue on this trajectory would mean that I probably would get some illness,” she said. 

“This is what happened to people in our position. 

“But that's my fear, that I would die young and I leave two other children without a mother.” 

Anna packed a bag for her daughter with a change of clothes and her medication. 

She wrote a letter explaining that her daughter needs to be prompted to take her medication. 

They walked into the emergency department together and Anna walked up to the receptionist.  

“I said, ‘I can't talk a moment, please let me catch my breath’,” she recalled. 

“I could barely say the words, I said, ‘I am unable to take care of my daughter anymore.’

“And I've asked the HSE for help and I'm not getting it. 

“So, unfortunately, I'm having to leave her hair here and relinquish care of her. 

“And they said, ‘Do you want to wait to see a nurse?’ And I said, ‘No, I have to walk away now.’

“I walked away to the car where my husband was waiting and I wailed like sounds I never made before. 

“Because it was just an impossible position to be in because I love her dearly and I want the best for her.”

The HSE wrote to Anna that her daughter is not considered homeless because she has parents who should be looking after her. 

Anna described it as a “bullying letter” and that the care system in Ireland is “utterly broken”. 

The HSE has been contacted for comment.

Main image: Ambulances outside a hospital. Picture by: Alamy.com.