A Cork mother says she and her family "don't know what to do" after her son was rejected for supports from Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

Eight-year-old Conor O’Neill has an intellectual disability, autism and serious behavioural issues and challenges.

Those behavioural issues have grown more severe as he's gotten older.

Conor was rejected for CAMHS supports in September last year, but his family was only informed of the decision recently.

On Lunchtime Live, Conor's mother Trish O'Neill said they've been looking for supports for their 'beautiful, handsome little boy'.

    

A referral was made to CAMHS last summer following consultation with the family GP.

Trish said: “It’s not something any parent wants to have to do… but we had to do it in order to try to protect Conor from hurting himself, hurting his siblings and hurting us.

"Desperation is probably the best way to put it.”

The O'Neills were told to expect a wait due to the long waiting lists for the CAMHS service.

However, with Conor's behaviour worsening due to the loss of routine as a result of the pandemic, Trish recently decided to contact CAMHS to check on progress.

She discovered the referral was actually rejected last September, but the family was never informed of the decision.

She said: “Nobody told us - no letter, no phone call, nothing.

"It was an administrative error on their part. Sometimes you can understand these things, but it’s very difficult as a parent when you’re going through what you’re going to.”

Trish is frustrated that nobody spoke to Conor or his parents before the rejection, and noted some of the information sent to CAMHS - including a psychological report - is now 'completely out of date'.

The family is now looking to appeal the decision.

While the O'Neills and autism services have done all they can to help Conor, Trish believes extra help is now needed.

She told Andrea: "Now I have to start the ball rolling again - I have to go find all these reports, get a new referral… it’s an absolute mess, and nobody is helping Conor.

"I just feel so let down, and so alone. It’s exhausting - we’ve done nothing but fight for everything that Conor has ever gotten. It’s just a constant battle to help him”

'His meltdowns are very aggressive'

Trish said that Conor's behavioural issues mean he often lashes out as he's unable to understand or control the emotions he's feeling.

She said: “We’re left with a child who can very quickly escalate into a meltdown, and his meltdowns are very aggressive.

“We also have two other children who can also be in the firing line, and they’re younger than Conor. It’s not a good position for them. I feel as a family we’re very vulnerable.

“Just two mornings ago… I went in to wake my three-year-old up to bring him to pre-school. He sat up in the bed and the first words out of his mouth were ‘mommy, why dos Conor hit you?’

"For a three-year-old to say that… it was very hard not to burst in tears."

Conor's parents don't know for sure exactly what supports Conor might receive from CAMHS - whether it's behavioural supports or help from a psychiatrist.

However, they now just want to meet with someone who will listen to their concerns.

Trish said: "Right now we’re seeing these things day-to-day and there’s no support.

"We’re on our own, and we don’t know what to do.”

Conor's mother says an administrative staff member she has spoken to from CAMHS was ‘absolutely lovely and 'as helpful as can be’ - showing there are 'amazing people' working in the service.

However, she said it's the system that's broken and 'not fit for purpose'.

Lunchtime Live has made contact with the HSE about the case and is awaiting a response.

Trish, meanwhile, says she's been assured the 'clock won't restart' when she submits her appeal, so the family are hopeful they won't have to wait as long for a response this time.