This week on So You Think You’re an Adult, one woman asked how to let her long-term boyfriend know that she’s looking for a proposal sooner rather than later.

“I’ve been with my boyfriend for nine years, we’re both in our mid-30's,” she told Moncrieff.

“I’m dying to get married – the more weddings we go to, the more embarrassing it gets that I’m still there without a ring.

“People always make light-hearted comments, and while they seem to go way over his head, they really hurt me.

“The honest answer is I have no idea why he hasn’t proposed.

“I’ve made it clear that I want to get married, and at this stage, neither of us are getting any younger.

“My friends say that I need to give him an ultimatum because he’s far too relaxed.

“I think this sounds so unromantic, but also, if we’re ever going to get married, things need to start moving soon.

“At the moment, I feel like he has all the power in this and is making me so upset.

“Every time I get my hopes up that a proposal might happen, I get so much sadder when it doesn’t.”

A woman proposing to her boyfriend, 10-9-16. Image: Yuri Arcurs / Alamy

Broadcaster Barbara Scully said, “this letter absolutely incensed me”.

“It’s 2025 and here we are with this woman still waiting for a man to make a proposal; I mean, what kind of fairy tale nonsense is this?” she said.

“Surely a couple who are in a long relationship of nine years already have some kind of commitment to each other.

“Surely, they have talked at some stage about the future and if that is marriage, if that is important to them, and maybe kids and buying a house and all the other things that come with it.

“Or is she waiting for him to get down on a bended knee and make a big proposal of marriage before they go and talk about all that other stuff?

“I just don’t understand – this is not what decades of feminism fought for, this nonsense.”

'Instagram moment'

TV personality Declan Scully said that this woman clearly wants a big moment to show off to all of her friends.

“This isn’t about marriage, this is about her engagement,” he said.

“This is about her having a moment; it’s to do with like, your ‘Instagram moment’.

“The romance is separate from reality, and so she wants an unreal thing, and she wants something to happen that’s out of the ordinary.

“She has to ask him to do it for her because he doesn’t get it.”

One listener texted into the show and pointed out that within this woman’s social circle it might be considered strange for the woman to propose to the man, and that is where her anxieties are coming from.

Main image: Young adult man proposing marriage by presenting engagement ring to young adult woman at restaurant table, both holding hands, wine glasses visible in foreground.