This week on So You Think You’re an Adult, one woman asked whether she should broach the topic of having a fourth child with her husband, in the hopes that she will finally have a girl.
“I’m pregnant with my third child,” the letter writer told Moncrieff.
“I’ve discovered it’s another boy and I’m so disappointed – I've always pictured myself with a little girl.
“While we had discussed that it was always going to be three kids and done because of the financial pressures, I now don’t think I will be satisfied unless I get a girl.
“I feel like I can’t say anything to friends or family, but my husband has seen me break down in tears multiple times over this.
“Should we keep going until we get a girl? And am I wrong to feel so sad about this?”
Sad pregnant woman sitting on sofa. Image: Wavebreak Media ltd / Alamy.Broadcaster Barbara Scully said that while we all have an idealised version of how we want our lives to go in our heads, sometimes we just have to accept what is given to us.
“You hear of parents who are dealing with having a baby with very challenging special needs, say,” she said.
“It’s not really appropriate for somebody, I don’t think, to say in this situation.
“I understand she wants a girl; we all have ideas in our head as to the imaginary family before we have kids that we would like to have.
“But the thing is, we can’t control that.”
Deeper issues
TV personality Declan Buckley said he thinks the root of this woman’s issues might go deeper than the gender of her children.
“I believe what’s going on here is that this person right now is in the kind of excitement of, ‘I’m having a baby!’” he said.
“But it’s not the reality of when the baby comes, and the practicalities.
“That’s never as fun or as kind of a Hallmark movie as people expect it to be.”
Declan also pointed out that just because this third child is a boy doesn’t mean his personality is set according to gender stereotypes.
“My mother and father thought they had three boys – they ended up with a drag queen!” he said.
Main image: Pregnant woman holding ultrasound image. Image: Prasit Rodphan / Alamy. 3 February 2018
