Picture the scene – the BBC brain trust are holed up in the World Cup war room, hatching the master plan for their cutting edge coverage that would steal the show in Brazil. But they need something new – someone new. They look enviously at the new face of Sky Sports, Gary Neville. The former Manchester United full back has transformed himself, Sky Sports and British football punditry, with his engaging and informed analysis.
If only there were two Nevilles.
Two Nevilles?! So crazy it might just work.
It didn’t work. In terms of public reaction it couldn’t have really gone any worse. Phil Neville’s World Cup co-commentator bow was greeted with an avalanche of online derision and mockery as the former Man Utd and Everton player’s low key delivery.
Any insight Neville offered- and he did offer a lot more than pundits such as Mark Lawrenson and Andy Townsend have been known to muster – was lost amidst Phil’s monotone whisper. And Twitter was merciless.
EXCLUSIVE: Phil Neville in the commentary box. pic.twitter.com/dAI6wj2WWK
— BBC Sporf (@BBCSporf) June 14, 2014
Even the South Warkwickshire Police were getting in on the act.
will be playing recordings of Phil Neville all night to keep the streets all calm and sleepy. Remember respect residents #KnowYourLimit
— Policing South Warks (@SWarksCops) June 14, 2014
Didi Hamann was worried that Neville might not be able to muster the strength to go on once he had taken stock of Twitter.
If Phil Neville reads his twitter feed he may not come out for the second half.
— Didi Hamann (@DietmarHamann) June 14, 2014
BBC: "Phil Neville, weve an idea tonights match could get quite heated. So we want you to suck all the life out of it." PN "Will do boss!"
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) June 14, 2014
In the aftermath of England’s equaliser, physio Gary Lewin went down with a dislocated ankle. Initial speculation placed the blame at Phil Neville’s door.
The England physio slipped into a coma when a live feed of Phil Neville's commentary was played into his earpiece. #EnglandItaly
— Tim Brannigan (@tim_brannigan) June 14, 2014
If I was stranded on a desert island with a tin of corned beef and Phil Neville I would eat Phil Neville and talk to the corned beef.
— Jeff (@Schofij) June 15, 2014
Alcohol dependency groups have suspended sales of their cessation video narrated by Phil Neville after millions more people hit the bottle
— Neil Yates (@neilayates) June 15, 2014
Phil Neville could make Zippity Doo Dah sound like a cancer diagnosis
— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) June 14, 2014
The most important button on the sky remote when Phil Neville commentates #worldcup pic.twitter.com/e9O3A5Yo9x
— Everything Liverpool (@scouseliving) June 14, 2014
England's physio stretchered off after falling into a coma listening to Phil Neville's commentary. pic.twitter.com/ZcdJbwyUf0
— NeiLFC Davies (@NDAV5L) June 14, 2014
I'm sure this is what phil neville was thought he was watching last night pic.twitter.com/PibjYUJZKn
— AP FROM HIGHBURY (@adamparsons70) June 15, 2014
If the entire stadium burns down, Phil Neville will mumble "Well, that's what flames can do. If they're not marked."
— Mark Steel (@mrmarksteel) June 14, 2014
