Parents need to balance saying no with positive reinforcements about what their child is doing right.
That's according to parenting expert Sheila O'Malley, who was responding to suggestions that parents should be conscious of what they say to their children.
The Irish Independent has compiled a list of 11 things you should never say to your kids.
It says parents should avoid using phrases such as 'Stop crying, you're OK', 'Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?' 'You'll make me said if you don't' and 'No'.
Ms O'Malley told Newstalk Breakfast the idea of never saying no to children is actually about balance.
"What we know works is positive reinforcement of behaviour," she said.
"So the more that you can actually catch your child being good, and tell them what they're doing right, then the more good they're actually going to do".
She said there are things we can learn from such an approach.
"I zeroed in on 'Stop crying, you're OK' and then other ones that were really around the child's behaviour," she said.
"Those are important messages that there's a link between how the child feels and how they behave.
"I think sometimes when you read these things you say, 'OK what bit maybe can I take away from that?'"
'Usually crying for a reason'
Ms O'Malley said telling children to stop crying, especially younger ones, doesn't add up.
"What I'm going to do is, I'm going to recognise that if somebody's crying, they're usually crying for a reason," she said.
"What I don't want to do is actually dilute or dismiss or completely change that feeling".
Ms O'Malley said if, for example, the child fell and hurt themselves that is how they tell you.
"Depending on what's happening it's to make that distinction, whether or not we realise it... around the area of emotions.
"When children are maybe small, they don't have the language to actually say how they feel, so they have to use the crying or whatever".
'It's not really about food'
Ms O'Malley said attaching conditions to food - such as 'If you eat all your dinner, you can have sweets' - can backfire.
"What actually it can end up in is that the mealtime can become a bit of a battlefield," she said.
"That it's not really about the food, that you're nearly forcing food into people.
"Eating is just a natural thing that happens when there's bit of chat and all of that.
"I don't know if you were ever force-fed but certainly, I had to look at a piece of fish that was cold and congealed.
"I was a picky eater... but at the same time I'm fit and healthy and it didn't seem to have done me any harm.
"Sometimes that to me is a situation where parents can be very OTT," she added.
