How can a parent get their moody teenager to interact with them? 

It’s a complaint that families have been making as long as there have been teenagers. 

On The Claire Byrne Show, clinical psychologist Dr Claire Crowe suggested allowing your teenager to pick an activity that they enjoy. 

“Say to your teenager, ‘I want to spend more time with you, I'd actually like to play a game with you with two things’,” she said. 

“Let them choose what it is and let it be regular - because the temptation is they'll choose something really big if it's infrequent, but make it small. 

“Make it a game of cards or a board game or a video game. But let them decide it and you join in with them.” 

Dr Crowe continued that during her time working in mental health she never met a single teenager who did not want a close relationship with their parents. 

She recalled once meeting a father and his son who had not been getting along. 

“They had two games of FIFA soccer a week,” she said. 

“That's where they started; now, these guys had no conversation otherwise. 

“And weeks later, I remember we had a review session and it started off chatting lightly, but they were actually talking about meaningful things over time while playing the FIFA soccer game.”

'Their choice is so important'

Dr Crowe said an activity that brings a family together doesn’t have video games, it just has to be something a teenager enjoys. 

“Maybe it's kicking a football around or there's collaborative board games where you can work as teams,” she suggested. 

“And you're just doing something that feels a little bit at odds to what you usually do.”

And if they are reluctant to do anything, Dr Crowe suggested making it time limited. 

“I always do a five minute rule, which is, ‘We can do this for five minutes and then you're free to go’,” she described.

“Activation precedes motivation; you have to be doing it to actually start to enjoy it.

“And like it might be just throwing a few basketballs in a hoop or whatever it is, let them choose it. 

“And that's why their choice is so important, because at least then you're going into their space.”

Main image: Two teenagers on their phones. Picture by: Axel Bueckert / Alamy Stock Photo