Getting angry and shouting at your children can cause “lifelong damage”, according to a new charity supporting people who experienced verbal abuse.

Words Matter founder Jessica Bondy endured verbal abuse herself growing up and hopes the charity can help other people come to terms with their experience. 

Speaking to Newstalk Breakfast, she said there is little public awareness of verbal abuse and many people do not realise the extent of the problem. 

“Verbal abuse of children can [cause] lifelong damage,” she said.

“Comparing it to physical abuse and sexual abuse, the impact can be just as great and I think it’s such an underestimated, hidden issue.” 

Words have power, especially for children. They shape who we are and who we become.

That’s why we’ve launched Words Matter - a new charity on a mission to end verbal abuse of children by the adults around them.#wordsmatter #letsbuildchildrenuphttps://t.co/s45RVqJZvn

— Words Matter (@WordsMatter_) September 13, 2023

Ms Bondy said verbal abuse has been linked to anxiety, depression, substance abuse and even suicide; even if people who experienced it do not suffer from mental health problems, it can impact their confidence for years afterwards. 

“So many people I’ve coached and mentored… had been held back by the words they’d heard when they were children,” she said. 

“People were told they were ‘useless’, ‘stupid’ [and] were ‘never going to amount to anything’.” 

Not just shouting

Often verbal abuse is shouted at children but Ms Bondy is clear abuse can be delivered in a normal tone of voice.   

“[Verbal abuse] can be subtle and quiet,” she said. 

“Part of it is the words that are used and if one is using words that criticise and demean, as a child growing up, you believe those to be true because you respect the adults in your life. 

“So, those words, they stick and they end up defining you.” 

Apologise

For those adults who think they might have inflicted verbal abuse upon a child, Ms Bondy said amends can still be made. 

“It’s never too late,” she said. 

“An apology is a start and you can repair [a relationship].”

Main image: A child talks to a counsellor. Picture by: Alamy.com