This week on Parenting, one mother asked for advice on how to manage a family holiday with her son’s girlfriend.

“We are heading off on a family holiday in a fortnight, and our teenage son, who is 17, is bringing his girlfriend with us,” she told Moncrieff.

“I’m concerned about the dynamic of the holiday with this situation.

“I want to be supportive of my son as he grows and develops, but at the sametime, I’m concerned for their health.

“My husband thinks we should allow them to have their own bedroom and provide a plentiful supply of condoms.

“Well, I prefer a more reserved approach – I would like the girlfriend to bunk up with our daughter who is of a similar age.

“I feel like whatever decision we make will cause a combustion – what is the best course of action in this situation?”

Teenage couple kissing on a sofa and hiding behind a book. Image: LJSphotography / Alamy. 9 November 2018

Family psychotherapist Joanna Fortune said that while this mother can set whatever boundaries she wants on her own holiday, it would be worth asking the girlfriend’s parents what they would feel comfortable with.

“I’m wondering why is this so heightened? You're on eggshells here,” she said.

“This is your family holiday, it’s your rules.

“The thing is, as parents, you’re not on the same page, you're actually on really, really different pages about this - maybe there is a middle ground here.

“This is your family holiday, your teenager is bringing his teenage girlfriend with him – do you know her parents?

“It’s definitely worth a conversation with them before you take responsibility for their teenage daughter.”

Boundaries

Joanna agreed that a shared bedroom and a supply of condoms for a teenage couple is probably going a bit too far, but said the pair likely will end up in the same bed at some point.

“I don’t think I would go down the route of their own bedroom for two 17-year-olds and a plentiful supply of condoms, I think that’s a little bit like, ‘Hey, go wild’,” she said.

“But actually, this is a family holiday, they’re not gone on their first holiday away together, and I think we have to be realistic about a couple of teenagers as well.

“Having the odd sleepover with your boyfriend or girlfriend in either of your parents’ homes, whatever way that is structured, is very different to going on a week or two-week holiday where your bedroom is together, you’ve no space from each other.

“That’s very much the ‘live together’ vibe, and I think at 17, that’s not advisable.”

According to Joanna, having the sister and girlfriend room together is perfectly reasonable, though it does put the sister in an awkward position if people start sneaking in and out of rooms.

Main image: A family sit together onboard an aeroplane.