With figures showing that one-in-six Irish couples suffer from fertility issues, getting pregnant can be a lot harder than it seems.

Many couples turn to the modern miracle of IVF in the hopes that it might be more successful than natural methods – but the road can be long, uncertain and incredibly stressful.

This week on Alive and Kicking with Clare McKenna, a listener asked for advice after her second round of treatments failed.

“I'm not sure what to do as I feel totally overwhelmed,” she wrote.

“I have just been through my second round of IVF; we got the news yesterday that it was not successful and I'm heartbroken and exhausted.

“I had such high hopes as all the early signs for this round were looking positive, and it seems like such a massive disappointment.

“I don't know if I should keep going; my husband is supportive but the pressure that this has put on us both emotionally and financially is hard to deal with.

“I'm 38 now and while the clinic tells me I'm still young, I feel old.

“I want to get back to living my life and not for everything to be centered around clinics, scans, medication and injections.

“What do you think is the next best step?”

Couple Holding Negative Pregnancy Test Sitting At Home. Alamy.com. 1 December 2020

Clinical hypnotherapist Fiona Brennan, who had her own son through IVF, said the process can feel “a roller coaster that you can be thrown off at any point”.

“One of the hardest parts of it is - and that's what I really work with my clients going through it - is sort of the lack of control that you have,” she said.

“So, you can do everything right, you can tick all the boxes, you can be so healthy and dedicated, etc.

“And you can still not get that successful outcome that you really, really want.”

Time to heal

Ms Brennan said this listener should give herself time to grieve, process and heal from what she has been through before she pushes herself to decide if she wants to continue on this journey.

“You've got to listen to your own voice, and that can be hard because it's a noisy world,” she said.

“You might have a friend who, is saying, ‘Well, I'm going again’, and they went six times and it worked - but you've got to know your own body.

“What are its limits in terms of physically? What are your limits emotionally and what are your limits financially as well? You've got to look at the whole picture.”

According to Ms Brennan, while it can feel as though every IVF story is one of success, many couples who do not get the desired outcome find it difficult to talk about their experience.

Main image: Couple getting bad news from their doctor. Image: Wavebreak Media Premium / Alamy. 25 November 2011