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'A lot of mum-shaming' - The downside of parenting forums

US research has suggested new mothers should limit their time on online support forums
Jack Quann
Jack Quann

16.08 15 Dec 2022


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'A lot of mum-shaming' - The d...

'A lot of mum-shaming' - The downside of parenting forums

Jack Quann
Jack Quann

16.08 15 Dec 2022


Share this article


One mother has warned parents against taking medical advice from online parenting forums.

It comes as US research has suggested new mothers should limit their time on online support forums, as conflicting advice and judgemental comments can raise their stress levels.

Katie is a mother of two and told Lunchtime Live she actually joined, and left, several groups.

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"I was the first in my circle to have a baby," she said.

"So I joined a couple of these groups thinking this was great - I can get some advice, what's normal.

"Just basically tips for a new mum who has no idea what she's doing.

"Where there's a lot of positive stuff to be taken from these groups, there's a lot of nastiness and bitchiness - they can just be toxic".

'Afraid to ask a question'

She said one of the larger groups was "constant drama."

"A mother would post a question, a very simple question, and she'd be pounced on by people who weren't trying to give their opinion, they weren't being helpful," she said.

"They were forcing what they thought; and I actually found it does put anxiety in you.

"You'd be afraid to ask a question, you'd be afraid 'Am I going to get pounced on if I ask this?'".

Katie said she posted a question in relation to the MMR vaccine and was told "'You're mad if you get that done, I definitely wouldn't bring my child to get that done, what are you thinking?'

"When you're looking for positive advice it's not always positive advice you get.

"There's a lot of mum-shaming".

Medical advice

She said a lot of people are also giving medical advice without any training or background.

"You get a lot of people posting pictures of their kids rashes, or with Strep A now... posting pictures of their children's tongue [asking] 'Does this look like strawberry tongue?'.

"You're getting people saying 'No that looks fine' or 'Jesus Christ, go to A&E'.

"There's also the anxiety in the way of the medical stuff that you're thinking 'That child's tongue looks like my child's tongue - should I go to A&E?'

"If you are worried about your child go to a GP, don't go to a mum's group - they're not medical professionals," she added.


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