What can be said of a show that’s essentially been the same thing, year in, year out since 2002? Now in its 15th season on our TV screens, the only perceptible change to have happened to I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! is that it’s switched over from TV3 to UTV Ireland – with the troubled channel’s hopes it will be a windfall hardly helped by them dropping the feed right before the culminating moment of the first episode.
Just before Lady Colin Campbell (the posh one) and Jorgie Porter (the shower totty) were selected by the voting public to chew on camel lips, pig anuses, and fish eyes, the fledgling network went straight to the Graham Norton chat show by accident. Sweet relief.
Certainly, I’m a Celeb’s longevity is something to recognise, for how many other shows can still reap in 10m viewers in the UK, almost half of Sunday night's viewing public, after 15 seasons on air. The X Factor is losing out to the Antiques Roadshow, and Big Brother’s watching few grew so small that Channel 4 kicked it to the curb, with the Geordie announcer now calling member’s of the public thirsty for their 15 minutes to the diary room over on Channel 5. And on to TV3 on these shores, naturally, in this one in, one out world of competitive reality TV.
Geordies do their thing in the Australian jungle too, with Ant and Dec back to make ribald comments about contestants liking the taste of crocodile penis, more eager to get a rise out of each other than the audience at home.
The tasks, as well, are somewhat of an ordeal. “We’ve dug you a hole, creep into it and we’ll pour creepy crawlies over you.” Pretty sure they’ve done that one before. “We’ve served you up a bowl of beetles, eat some.” And that one too. “Wash these dishes!” Eh... I can do that one at home myself, lads.
Lady C, as she is known around camp – an allusion to her being the most aristocratic of this year’s C-list? – refused to wash the plates, offering no reasonable explanation beyond saying it was beneath her and all the other contestants. It was beneath the viewers too. She then refused another challenge, to burrow down into the jungle soil on account of a cousin being buried alive. That, at the very least, was new. The rest of the competitors have gurned and squealed as directed, while being showered with a stream of crickets and cockroaches.
“They’re in my G-string!” Hollyoaks actress and reigning queen of the shower cam, 2015 be damned, Jorgie Porter screamed while surrounded by the roaches. “They’re in my bum hole!” - You don’t get talk of sequins secreting themselves in body cavities over on Strictly.
When it comes to this season’s stars, they follow the well-worn path, perhaps with one exception. Presumably cast as the villain, socialite and author Lady C, born in Jamaica with indeterminate sex and raised as a boy until into her teenage years, is the breakout star from a collection of I’m a Celebrity central-casting contestants.
There’s the faded musician (Spandau Ballet’s Tony Hadley), the former sports star (Kieron Dyer, Chris Eubank), TV presenters that haven’t booked a better gig in a decade (Yvette Fielding, Susannah Constantine), reality TV stars from TOWIE/Made In Chelsea/Geordie Shore, and then the disparate group of men and women who’s game plan is to gamely wear as little as possible.
Will this group have the charm to appeal to viewers every night for the next fortnight, for as much as 90 minutes at a time, chomping down on bugs or pulling on the marigolds? Will their squabbles over beans cooked on campfires keep TV screens alight? ITV seems certain, they’ve secured the show to run until at least 2017. Whether it will be back on TV3 by then remains to be seen.
Every Thursday, James talks Sean Moncrieff through what's making waves on the small screen this week. You can listen back to the podcast below:
