A man who was blackmailed over nude images shared on Snapchat is reminding people they should always speak out if they feel threatened.
On Lunchtime Live this afternoon, Cork-based writer and mental health advocate Daragh Fleming said he was threatened with blackmail yesterday after sharing the images with a woman he met on dating site.
He said he had recently returned to the dating app Hinge when he began texting a woman from Cork.
“I thought I was initial stages of dating someone... it was incredibly convincing that it was a real person,” he said.
Eventually, their conversations moved from Hinge to Snapchat, at which point the woman became flirtier.
“She started making [conversations] a little more sexual in nature,” Mr Fleming explained. “Sending a picture and then requesting I send one back.
“I did and then the conversation naturally came to its conclusion. I was busy over the weekend, so we weren’t really talking.
Yesterday morning, the ‘woman’ texted Mr Fleming again – but this time with a picture of his sexual image, along with screenshots of his family members’ Facebook pages.
"They told me ‘Send me €2,000 or we’re going to post these’,” he explained.
“Then my Snapchat started ringing and it was the girl I had matched it, but it was a man’s voice.”
'Your impulse is to pay'
Mr Fleming said in the initial panic of seeing your own nude, "your impulse is to just pay”.
“Once the initially panic subsided I thought I can’t pay because once I pay, they’ll ask for more money,” he said.
After blocking the man on Snapchat, Mr Fleming began receiving messages on Instagram continuously threatening him and eventually lowering the cost to €500.
“Which was a good discount to be fair, but I still said no,” he said.
I’m currently being blackmailed by someone who has naked images of me and is asking me for €2000 in order to prevent them being posted, which I’m obviously not gonna do. So if you see images of me somewhere, enjoy them I guess!
— Daragh (@DaraghFleming) July 31, 2023
Mr Fleming then tweeted his experience and warned followers they might see a sexual image of him in the future.
“The picture is out of my control, so I wanted to get ahead of it,” he said.
“I do a lot of work in mental health, and it’s very uncomfortable and distressing that [threats like this] have led to people ending their own lives.
“I need to do my part in the mental health conversation and show it doesn’t have to come to a very stark and tragic end.”
Stigma
He said people should not be ashamed for sending sexual images to someone or feel foolish if they end up in a situation like him.
“There's a massive fear of coming out and talking about it which I completely understand because there’s a huge stigma,” he said.
“I imagine that results in some people paying the blackmailer rather than dealing with that.”
Interestingly, there’s been some shaming today (by men and women) about my personal nudegate. Now, 99% of people have been extremely supportive, but the shaming is surprising given the world we live in, and given that what’s being threatened is sexual assault.
— Daragh (@DaraghFleming) July 31, 2023
Active Consent Coordinator Dr Caroline West said there are “so many” supports for people affected by situations like Mr Fleming’s.
“It is important to remember no one is alone when this happens to them,” she said.
“This is sexual violence, it’s not just a laugh, it’s not no big deal, it does have an enormous impact.”
Coco's Law
Dr West reminded people of Coco’s Law, which outlaws threatening to share nudes of another person without their consent.
“The taking, the distributing, the publishing or threatening to share images of someone with consent is illegal,” she said.
“The punishment can be up to seven years in prison or an unlimited fine.”
Anyone affected by the issues raised in this article can contact:
Hotline.ie (To report illegal content online)
Women’s Aid (Free 24 hour helping): 1800 341 900
Men’s Aid (Open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm): 01 554 3811
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