Children’s birthday parties – whether you’re hosting or attending, even the sheer mention of one can induce feelings of dread and anxiety. So, what’s the most stress-free way to plan them?

Location, location, location

Quite a number of parents are opting to have a children’s party outside of the home at an entertainment / sports activity venue as it takes the pressure off. Of those who prefer to host at home, they’ll often choose to hire private entertainers.

Many parish halls and community centres now hire out their facilities to parents looking to host a party. This can be a very inexpensive way of hosting a large party where an entertainer may attend for a part of the event, or the parents organise a simple obstacle course for fun, traditional birthday party games or host a karaoke party with an inexpensive machine on hire.

Mum-of-three and journalist Barbara Scully says that most of the parties she organised for her daughters were in the family home – but that she was lucky because she had the space to do so. Her biggest concern was their cat, which had a bit of a vicious streak. “One year I gave him valium - with advice from the vet - and the cat was comatosed for the entire party,” she told The Pat Kenny Show.

It’s worth bearing in mind that hosting a party at home can often work out more expensive – taking into consideration spending on decorations and activities – and can often take up more time. According to research carried out by MummyPages.ie, home parties cost €384 on average, while one at a venue costs €43 less at €344.

Invitations

Most parents with very young children, in pre-school or Junior / Senior Infants give the party invitations to the teacher to distribute discreetly in the school bags or school homework folders of the children.

Other schools insist that birthday party invitations may not be given out by the teacher or children (anywhere on school premises) and therefore parents must email, text or WhatsApp the parents of the children they wish to invite to their child's party. Essentially schools do not want to be a part of a situation that might see a child excluded and the bullying or upset that this may cause.

An extract from the school policy on birthday party invitations from a local Primary School in Stillorgan, Co Dublin (Oatlands Primary School) clearly states: "The distribution of invitations in the classroom is not permitted in Oatlands.  Parents are asked to discreetly hand out invitations before or after school time."  

As regards the question of an invite for all, chief executive of the National Parents’ Association (Primary), Áine Lynch says: “I don’t think parents should feel under pressure; I also don’t think children should feel under pressure. Having all the children in your class at a party can be quite daunting for young children, so I think it should come down to individual family situations.”

Activities

Gone are the days of traditional games, like musical chairs, pass the parcel and musical statues. Bouncing castles, play centres, cinema, bowling, football, arts & crafts, dress up, swimming, video games and treasure hunts are just some of the activities popular at children’s parties nowadays.

But if your little one (or you) has fancier taste or would like something different, there are more upscale activities or themed parties on the market.

One such company which offers this service is ‘Little Ladies Pamper Parties’ set up by two mothers Dee Roche and Tracy Hussey. The Dubliners saw a gap in the market for young girls’ birthday parties. They had come across companies in the UK that organised themed parties for young girls but there was nothing here in Ireland. They mainly do princess parties, but they also do pamper parties where there are foot spas, fluffy gowns, and music.

Their ‘Frozen themed party’ is one of the most popular options. This also includes face painting and then for the final showcase, a chocolate fountain, along with a Frozen-themed cake.

Photo: Wiki-Commons

Food

Many parents feel concerned about the amount of sugary treats their child might consume at a birthday party – not to mention the cost. But Laura Haugh says food needn't break the bank and there are lots of easy, healthy and fun recipes available online.

For those mums hosting their child's party at home, a lot of them choose to make their own food for the main party, but then buy the birthday cake with a small number hiring an ice-cream van as a novelty.

With the average party lasting two hours, seasoned mother Barbara Scully’s says it’s important to keep things in perspective and not to go overboard with the food. At the same time, she thinks there’s no point in denying that birthday parties are “an excuse to eat junk” and parents should just accept that.

Party bags

It also seems that party bags are a prerequisite at most parties – and are probably one of the most popular features of a child’s party. 93% of those surveyed for Mummypages.ie agreed they were “essential” at parties for under-8s.

And when it comes to the contents – it’s quantity over quality!

Presents

However the same rule doesn’t necessarily apply to presents – on average parents are expected to fork out €15 on a gift for the party boy / girl. And with at least 12 parties per year this can add up.

One school in Waterfall, Co Cork, has tackled the somewhat prohibitive cost of presents by introducing what it calls a Cárta system in place. Parents of children attending Scoil Bhailenóra have agreed that they put just €5 into a card when their child is going to a birthday party. This not only reduces the financial burden on parents but also cuts down on the waste of gifts that are well-intentioned but maybe ultimately not wanted.

Overall costs

Barbara Scully usually spent between €2-250 on parties, which she thinks was “completely daft” and one time gave her daughter the option a present or a party – and she opted for the latter!

Laura Haugh says according to the Mummypages.ie research, the average overall spend of a child (under-12) birthday party is €366 but as mentioned previously, hosting at home will cost both time and effort.

The breakdown is as follows:

Party at Home: €387

• Party Entertainment: €126
• Party Food: €144
• Birthday Cake: €39
• Party Bags: €4
• Party Games: €43
• Party Decorations: €31

Party at a Venue: €344

• Venue Hire & Entertainment: €238
• Party Food: €63
• Birthday Cake: €39
• Party Bags: €4

While Barbara Scully says she didn’t feel any pressure but she puts that down to the fact that she is older than most of the other parents.

Laura Haugh says that since the recession, monetary-based competitive parenting has really improved as most people have become more realistic in how they provide for their children in terms of clothing, birthday parties, toys and gifts.

Instead of trying to keep with the Jones and getting themselves into debt in order to ensure that their child has whatever their heart desires, most parents are choosing to live within their means. 

Newstalk reporter Barbara Feeney attended a sixth birthday party last weekend and spoke to parents, organisers and children about what they expect: