"This guy was my last hope because I'd been to see countless psychiatrists. I went into the room to meet the guy and the first thing he says to me is 'Jesus, aren't you the brother of the famous Cork goalkeeper?' My self-esteem was on the floor and here was this guy kicking it into the cellar unbeknownst to himself. He went on to speak about hurling for the next 10 minutes. Where I was at that moment, I wasn't interested in hurling. It's fair to say that I had an incredibly unhealthy relationship with hurling."
Those are the words of Conor Cusack on Off The Ball last night. The former Cork hurler, Cloyne club man and brother of goalkeeper Donal Og Cusack was on the show last night to speak out his struggle with depression and the way in which individuals and the GAA can help end the stigma surrounding mental health.
Conor first entered the national consciousness via a revealing blog post entitled ‘Depression is my friend, not my enemy’ which has made a huge impact at a time when issues related to suicide and mental health become increasingly worrying.
Conor explained to Ger and Diarmuid 'Gizzy' Lyng how he turned things around for himself.
"It's bad enough feeling depressed but to have that added burden of being terrified that people might find out...there's still a huge stigma and taboo associated with mental illness. And obviously there was the tragic death of Niall from Galway which was another reason why I wrote the blog.
"As I started to go on my journey inwards and started living my life from the inside-out, I got self-esteem from valuing myself as opposed to anything I was achieving and started to love the game [of hurling] so much better than I ever had before."
For Conor, it was the inner freedom of "not giving a sh*t what people say about you" and discovering self-worth.
He believes the GAA - not just the organization but the community and individuals that make up its backbone - should get involved in challenging the stigma of mental health.
"I'm convinced that this situation with mental health in this country, the GAA can play a massive role. But it has to come from individuals. The future of our country and our association is not the kids, it's the adults because it's from us that kids take their cues. I see people coaching tactics and techniques, but I don't see anybody coaching people. When I first started coaching I wasn't appreciating players for themselves. I was only appreciating them for what resulst we were getting out of them. There's a massive responsibility on each of us to reflect on our own behaviours. If we can create an environment where you can grow as a person and feel empowered instead of being controlled, I'm convinced it will have a major influence."
One of the things he wants to see change is the win-at-all-costs mentality which he believes is detrimental to the development of a person.
But he also explained the core principle of his message:
"Every 30 seconds, someone takes their own life. That's a unique individual that we're never going to see. But for some reasons as human beings, we associate uniqueness with things and buildings. Can you imagine in 30 seconds time, we lost Croke Park and 30 seconds after that Big Ben in England. And 30 seconds after that the Eiffel Tower...there would be pandemonium. But for some reason when it comes to ourselves, we tolerate it and are willing to stay silent about it."
©INPHO/Neil Danton
