Modern poetry is something I can take or leave but I think there is one line from Phillip Larkin that we all recognize instantly.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
Ah yes, these words echoed through my brain as two child-related stories raced up the news agenda. Hold on, I’ve been too kind there. The two stories – one on 25% of under threes being obese and the other on the ‘beauty pageant’ for kids planned for somewhere in Dublin this weekend – should be called stories of parental abuse. Let me explain.
We’ll start with the latest Growing up in Ireland survey around childhood eating habits and the increasing problem of obesity among very young children. A good deal of media reports dealt with the “working class” issue which the report brings out. Whether we like it or not, the report suggests kids from lower income households are at higher risk of being seriously overweight. While this may be true, it is a bit of a cop-out.
When you have children, they become the centre of a parent’s life. Your every living moment should be concerned with their welfare. A parent’s first line of defence should be their eyes. You see when things are going wrong. This is especially the case when it comes to a child’s weight.
We have all heard the euphemism: “ah sure it’s only puppy fat. It will go when puberty hits”. That may be so but allowing your child to become fat by the age of three? Now that’s child abuse. Plain and simple. No, you do not need a PhD to know this. You also do not need any form of higher education to know the dangers of junk food. Parents are adults just like you and me. They read papers. They look at TV. They’ve heard of sugar. They would have seen crappy plots on soap operas on overeating.
There are times when there could be other medical issues causing fatness. Parents in that case need our support. But I want to concentrate on the lazy and abusive parents who ignore what they see and allow their toddler grow into a health time bomb. They need to know what they are doing is wrong.
Then you have the flipside. The parents who have trophy children who seem to be fashion accessories. We all laughed in the noughties as we looked at TV shows showing bizarre beauty contests involving under nines who have been force fried under the sun bed and have undergone industrial style spray paint make up sessions. We got all superior saying that’s those yanks for you. Not any more. Ireland can sleep soundly in the knowledge that the Universal Royalty Pageant has landed on our shores. Thankfully they are still looking for a venue.. To any parent who thinks this kind of pageant is a great thing, I say why?
Why are you determined to transform your beautiful child into the plastic Barbie doll she should be playing with?
Why do you think forcing your ‘princess’ to wear adult make-up and adult attire makes for a happy afternoon of family entertainment?
Why do you think this is healthy?
Why is the way your child looks so central to your thinking?
Why should I not call you a child abuser? And let me clarify, any adult who robs a child of their childhood freedom is an abuser.
Why are your adult needs more important than your child’s? Don’t deny it. Pageants are all about your distorted view of childhood.
I wonder how you would react if you had a child with a disability? Would you love and nourish it?
Parents have a lot to answer for. Larkin may well have been right....
