People planning weddings should not try to please everyone with a large guest list because “you won’t please yourself”, according to an Irish wedding expert.  

Author and creator of The Irish Wedding Blog Sara Kennedy told The Pat Kenny Show that people who wanted a “happy medium” at their wedding should find strategies to scale back their guestlist.  

Ms Kennedy said many couples “just don’t want the hassle” of large weddings and they should focus on keeping themselves happy above relatives and friends.  

She said: “You can be very strategic, where nobody's partner gets an invite and then you can buckle that down.” 

“I had a rule for my own wedding that I didn't want to be meeting someone for the first time at the door of the Church when everybody's walking out.” 

She recalled a tip from a friend who said the only people they invited to their wedding were “people I knew I could call at five o'clock in the morning”.  

Parents 

Ms Kennedy said parents who help pay for a wedding can influence the guest list.  

She said: “If parents are contributing, that's a passport for invites.” 

Ms Kennedy said even if the parents are not contributing to the wedding, couples will still have to consider who their parents want to attend the wedding.  

“If Auntie needs to be there, or if all the cousins whatever that might be - It may not suit every couple, but they do consider it,” she said.  

Ms Kennedy also said “some friends of parents are practically like aunts and uncles to a lot of people”, so they should consider how that will affect the size of their wedding.  

Children  

Ms Kennedy said children on wedding guest lists have “sparked a huge amount of debate” as many people want a child-free wedding.  

“An invite goes out and it says the couple's name of who they're inviting, and the kids' names are not on it. And yet they still come back saying ‘so I'm going to bring little Johnny with me’,” she said.  

If children were coming to your wedding, Ms Kennedy said couples should seek out some of the “brilliant providers” of entertainment to keep children occupied and avoid any guests “babysitting”.  

Weddings abroad 

Ms Kennedy told the show that choosing to have your wedding abroad can easily cut down a guest list – and they should not put pressure on those invited to attend.  

“When a couple are planning a wedding abroad, they are taking in the fact that there's going to be a big drop off,” she said.  

"As much as they'd love a certain amount of people there, the reality is not everybody's going to go.” 

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