Ireland is having a real reckoning when it comes to masculinity, leaving both parents and educators struggling to keep up with how young men navigate a complex, often toxic online world.
Tara Duggan, presenting the Newstalk Daily podcast, recently explored the issue, highlighting the influence of social media and online communities on boys’ development.
Eoin Cleary, a secondary school teacher and member of the Online Health Task Force, painted a stark picture of the challenge:
“The ground under our boys’ feet is shifting fast and that’s also true for parents, we’re trying to keep up here. Real world guidance is thin.”
“Far too many parents are wondering how you raise a decent boy in a world that's shouting at him what a real man should be and that does not align with your own values,” he added.
The manosphere refers to social media algorithms that feed young boys content which reinforces harmful ideas about masculinity.
“As soon as the algorithm realises you’re a teenage boy, it floods your social media feed with content that's been proven to keep you scrolling,” said Cleary.
“The manosphere is the algorithm, and it is being mainstreamed by every single social media platform on the planet.”
This content often promotes toxic views such as the suppression of emotion as a key trait to manhood, narrating the idea of blaming women for sexual assault, and conjuring up a complex view of what a sexual relationship is.
The emotional toll of these messages is significant. Boys are often socialised from birth to suppress vulnerability, leaving anger as one of the few acceptable emotions left.
Cleary observed this characteristic which he sees in his classroom, “And for boys, that can often be anger… which we are still teaching boys is not acceptable to express.”
He noted that girls are more likely to talk to friends when upset, while boys retreat to their rooms or the gym, creating isolation that can contribute to harmful behaviour and distorted views of sexual relationships.
Pornography also plays a major role in shaping sexual expectations. Many children are exposed to porn before the age of 11, with almost all teenagers encountering it by the end of secondary school.
Cleary warned parents, “The message our teenagers are getting is absolutely clear. Sex is violent and violence is pleasure… The online world is the place where they're going to learn about what's expected of them.”
Cleary said there are concrete steps that can help, including stricter age verification for online content.
“This is really… a flashing red topic for our policy makers."
"Age verification needs to be put in place. And that is an absolute no-brainer… The technical ability is already available in Ireland to do that.”
He stressed that Irish boys are resilient, but adults must listen and guide them.
“They are brilliant. They just want to know who we want them to become. But as soon as we can reclaim that, our boys are amazing.”
Written by Annemarie Roberts
