On this week's So You Think You're An Adult, a listener who is dreading her upcoming 40th birthday is looking for some advice.
Barbara Scully and Declan Buckley joined Sean Moncrieff to answer this and other listener dilemmas...
The dilemma
I have my big 40th birthday coming up in a couple of weeks and I am absolutely dreading it.
My husband and kids are insisting on making a big fuss of it but to be honest I would rather ignore it. I don’t know why but I feel very daunted by this milestone and feel like time is ticking and I haven’t yet done half the things I want to do.
I have always thought age was just a number, so why has 40 become so scary? How can I stop being nervous and overcome this trepidation?
Barbara's advice
"I vaguely remember turning 40, and I didn't anticipate the fact I would be daunted by it - but I was. I get where this woman is coming from.
"The good news is it will make turning 50 much easier!
"But I get what she says. She says she feels like time is ticking... I think, looking back, that's probably why I found 40 the same.
"Your kids are probably still reasonably young, you've still got a lot of responsibilities... you probably feel the time is flying past, and you're doing the same thing all the time and not getting to do the things you want to do.
"I think it's really important, particularly for women, to come to terms with the fact you're getting older and make peace with that. That's really difficult... society will continue to tell you you need to fight ageing.
"The good news for this woman is that she is only 40. In the next few years, she'll probably start to see the freedoms coming down the road. Your kids will get older and become a bit more independent... the things that kept you shackled will start to release.
"I don't have any advice except to say to hang on in there. You're only 40... you have loads of time to do what you want.
"Look after your health from here on out to make sure you stay healthy. But you have plenty of time.
"I've written a book about this: I firmly believe that your 60s, particularly as a woman, are potentially the most powerful, interesting and exciting decade. The best is yet to come.
"I also wanted to say... I wouldn't be shy about saying to your husband and kids you don't want to have a big deal made of it. That's absolutely fine: you should be very upfront about telling them that."
