While most people see family holidays as a time to sit back and relax, for many mothers, the stress of day-to-day life only increases.

That’s according to freelance journalist Rhiannon Picton-James, who said that she feels “more burned out than ever” when on vacation.

“It starts when you’re packing the suitcases, when you’re making the lists, when you’re washing the clothes, ironing the clothes, packing the endless amount of clothes that you need, the snacks for the plane, downloading the shows on the iPad,” she told Newstalk Breakfast.

“Before you’ve even left, you’ve just had lists and lists of tasks.

“I think [holding the passports] is a very flashy job; it’s the thing everyone sees you do, and mums do the invisible labour.

“You can’t see that I’ve made a list and packed a case, you just see a packed case that you’re pulling and the passport in your hand.”

Family holiday in airport. Image: Connect Images. 13 March 2018

One listener texted into the show to say that his wife simply shows up to the airport on family holidays after he has planned and paid for everything.

“I think paying for the holiday is nice, but you got to pay for that holiday with the labour you did from working and your wife stayed at home looking after the kids,” Ms Picton-James said in response.

“We’ve already done our part in helping you make that money; you’ve been able to make that money on the back of the unpaid labour and work we’ve been doing in the home.

“So, I don’t think that should count really.”

'Switch who takes the lead'

Ms Picton-James recommended women get their husbands to physically write out the list of things that need to be done on holiday.

“I dictated the whole list to [my husband] of everything that needs to get done,” she said.

“He was shocked writing it down, he said, ‘Oh my god, this is going to take a whole day to do’.

“And I said, ‘Yes, exactly, it is’.

“You need to switch who takes the lead every day so that you’re not captain holiday every day of the holiday and it’s not all on you.”

However, Ms Picton-James said that this type of incompetence typically doesn’t come from a place of malice and can be easily resolved.

Main image: Stressed mother with her baby in the back of the family car on holiday. Image: Marc Calleja. 18 October 2022