Is it ever okay for a parent to have a favourite child?

Many families will instinctively feel - rightly or wrongly - that there is one child who is their Mam or Dad’s favourite. 

But how much of a problem is that?

On Newstalk Breakfast, Bethan O'Riordan, a psychotherapist specialising in parent support, said on the issue of child favouritism that perhaps people could “frame that a little more palatably”. 

“Parents buttons are pushed from morning till evening,” she explained. 

“So, maybe there's bits of children that we might find easier. 

“But I think in our training and in the therapy room, I'm not sure that it's highly advised that we could say to parents, ‘Yeah, you tell your kids you have a favourite or not.’

“Having said that, parenting is really hard and I throw no shade to any parent for what they say about their relationship with their children.”

Ms O'Riordan continued that “every relationship is different” with every child. 

“My therapy practice is full of teenagers and adults who are dealing with the fallout of knowing that they weren't the favourite,” she said. 

“I mean, it's all right for kids to know that they've made mistakes, that there's parts that their parents needed to help them with.

“But that really ingrained feeling of knowing I wasn't good enough can really bring a lot of shame to people.”

However, at the end of the day, Ms O'Riordan that parents cannot change their child’s personality. 

“We often think that parenting is about children, but it's not,” she said. 

“It's about the parents and how we support each child. 

“Parents always come to me with an angry child; this is like the most common thing. 

“And I say, ‘Well, there's bits that you like, there's bits that you don't like, but it's for you to change, not for the child to change.’”

Main image: Parents out for a walk with their sons. Picture by: Alamy.com.