On this week’s episode of ‘So You Think You’re an Adult’, one woman asked how she should navigate a family argument about who should read her dad’s eulogy.

“We’re an Irish family living in England,” she told Moncrieff.

“Our father passed away ten days ago.

“We are currently preparing for his funeral in about two weeks' time.

“My three siblings and I are keen to have a wonderful celebration of our dad’s life; we were all very fond of him.

“However, the question over who gets to do the eulogy has become a point of contention over the past few days.

“My eldest brother seems to presume it would be him until I suggested that the position required some discussion.

“This ruffled some feathers.

“It’s got to the point that almost everything is organised for the funeral, but we can’t decide on the eulogy.

“It’s causing my rather frail mum a lot of angst to be honest – how do we reconcile this situation?”

Woman comforting her elderly mother whos upset. Image: Yuri Arcurs / Alamy. 19 December 2014

Broadcaster Barbara Scully said this letter “made me kind of cross”.

“The only point in this is that you are upsetting your mother, who is frail and who is also dealing with the loss of her husband,” she said.

“That alone should be the main point here.

“In order not to upset your mother, I would, in this instance, defer to let the eldest do it.

“If he wants to do it, you let him do it.”

Barbara pointed out that it is unusual that anyone should want to do a eulogy, and also said the responsibility does typically fall on the eldest sibling.

Sibling rivalry

TV personality Declan Buckley questioned if this situation really had anything to do with this person’s father and honouring his memory.

“This is not about the actual core objective of the eulogy,” he said.

“This is a bit of inter-sibling rivalry; it’s who’s the favourite, and who’s the closest to dad, and ‘Nobody puts baby in the corner’.

“This is not the time, it’s not the only way, pick your battles.”

A coffin in a church, Alamy

One texter into the show said they had attended a funeral where the deceased person’s children all recounted their happiest memories of the person, with about thirty seconds allocated to each.

“It was absolutely beautiful,” they said.

Others suggested the siblings collectively write the eulogy and nominate their brother to read it out for them.

Barbara and Declan also said that in a Catholic mass, there are plenty of opportunities for everyone to get involved in the ceremony.

Main image: Two angry men and women arguing sitting on a couch in the living room at home.