This week on So You Think You’re an Adult, one woman asked for advice dealing with her spiraling feelings of envy directed at her brother’s wife. 

The letter writer said that her brother runs his own company, which has left him and his wife in a very comfortable financial situation. 

“My sister-in-law doesn’t work, so she spends her time doing palates and going for coffee,” she told Moncrieff. 

“I’m so jealous she gets that time to herself, while both me and my husband work hard. 

“We are financially struggling; we have two young kids in childcare that we are paying a fortune for every month, and there’s nothing left at the end of every month. 

“On top of that, I’m trying to manage my parents who are becoming demanding as they get older. 

“I’m the one they ring when they need anything because they feel my brother is too busy working to be disturbed.” 

A woman comforting her elderly mother who's going through a tough time. Image: Yuri Arcurs. 19 December 2014

The letter writer said it “drives her insane” when she looks at social media and sees her sister-in-law living a picture-perfect life, while she shoulders the burden of her parents' care. 

“I never thought it would feel like this, but I’m so jealous of her life and so disappointed by my own, which is just full of responsibility and nothing else.” 

Broadcaster Barbara Scully said that while she understands this woman’s frustrations, “she’s frustrated in the wrong direction”. 

“It’s not her sister-in-law's fault that she’s under this amount of pressure,” she said. 

'Most people share the upsides'

TV personality Declan Buckley said that the sister-in-law could still be a “total melt”, but Barbara argued that she’s just living her life. 

“[The letter writer] is looking at [the sister-in-law's] social media – social media is not the truth,” she said. 

“Very few people share on social media the downsides. 

“I mean, most people share the upsides, because nobody wants to bathe in other people’s misery.” 

Group friends using mobile smartphone outdoor - Millennial young people having fun with new social media technology

Barbara recommended that the letter writer needs to stop obsessively looking at her brother’s wife’s Instagram immediately. 

“Stop thinking about the sister-in-law, stop looking at her social media, have a chat with your brother,” she said. 

“She needs to have a chat with the brother and say, ‘Look, we’re under pressure, we are both working long hours, plus we have the kids, plus mam and dad need whatever they need – I need help’. 

“If he’s doing that well, he can afford to take a bit of time out and help with the parents; it’s not just her responsibility.” 

Declan said, “the curse of modern society is going online and comparing each other”. 

Main image: Sad Woman Jealous Of Mother With Young Baby. Image: Ian Allenden. 22 July 2016