This week on So You Think You’re an Adult, one man asked how to cope with the fact that his ex-partner has seemingly moved on from their separation much quicker than him.

“I saw my ex and her new boyfriend, and I’m crushed,” he told Moncrieff.

“We split up over a year ago but have two kids together, and the breakup has been brutal.

“It’s so upsetting to see how quickly she moved on from being this great partner of mine to finding love with someone else.

“I still think about her all the time and just can’t even think about moving on or meeting anyone, while she seems so happy already.

Stubborn couple avoid talking to each other after fight. Image: Aleksandr Davydov / Alamy. 18 April 2018

“I can’t help but feel heartbroken, but also really resentful.

“I moved out of our house and now only see the kids at weekends – I really miss them and the life we all used to have together.

“I feel like I have barely had the chance to think about what happens next, as I’ve just been in survival mode, trying to financially cover as much as possible.

“How can I move on, or should I say something to her?”

Professional help

Broadcaster Barbara Scully said that, ultimately, this man would benefit from professional assistance to help him navigate his feelings.

“I would say to him that she may not be in love, just because she’s seeing somebody else [it] may not be all roses in the garden – and it may not last,” she said.

“I think also what I’m picking up from the letter is the degree of resentment, that for him, she seems to be free of the kind of worry and angst that he’s left with, because he said she’s moving on but he’s still in survival mode.

“A breakup is hard anyway, but when it involves one person having to move out of the family home and then reduce the time they get to spend with their children, that must be really devastating.

“But I would urge him to try not to resent his ex too much, because the kids will pick up on that very quickly, and that’s not good.”

Unhappy little girl suffering quarrels between parents, divorce and children (Ievgen Chabanov / Alamy Stock Photo)

TV personality Declan Buckley agreed that counselling should be a priority for this man if at all possible.

“I can see that it’s kind of, on one side you’re going, ‘I need to pay for the kid’s school’, and whatever it is that’s going on,” he said.

“And on the other side of things, [him] going to counselling [might] seem like an indulgence.

“What I’m saying is it’s not an indulgence.”

Declan pointed out that, as difficult as it may be to come to terms with, it really is none of this man’s business whether or not his ex has moved on, or is happy in her new relationship.

A texter recommended that if he was still on reasonably good terms with his ex, it could be worth entering mediation to potentially have more time with his children.

Main image: Depressed man at home on couch look sad. Image: Louis-Paul st-onge Louis / Alamy. 7 March 2021