Our 14-year-old only child will not turn off phone or any screen and the minimum homework is barely done. I’ve tried all reasoning with my son - no joy! He plays sport but life is dominated by screens. I’m introducing a new plan this evening - TV only from 8.3Opm and other screens at the weekend. Is this reasonable?
Well, it's about time! I get these sorts of questions all the time from parents who have not bothered to take charge. We have discussed time and time again the fact that technology plays a huge role in the lives of our children and teenagers. I fully understand the importance to them and am aware that if they have no access to modern social media, video games and other technology such as smart phones, they pay a social cost that can be punishing.
However it is imperative for parents to take charge early on regarding the amount of time spent online. If parents don't do that it is inevitable their children will become preoccupied - to the exclusion of almost everything else.
Technology has its place but when it overpowers the major task of childhood and adolescence, it becomes an obstacle to all the important tasks of living. These are not exclusive to academic achievement. They encompass extremely important tasks such as the ability to relate to other people on a one-to-one basis and to understand social communication in all its intricacies - such as facial expression, tone of voice, reciprocal conversation and body language. If these skills are not well-honed in the human brain the individual is at risk of being less able than others.
I strongly suggest you keep to your stated goal. You will encounter difficulty with your son who will no doubt fight you to the end and attempt to get you to change your mind. Your task is to take charge, be a parent not a friend, to do what you believe in your heart is right for your child. Now, go do it!
Every week on Moncrieff, David Carey, a psychologist with over 25 years experience in both clinical and educational settings, answers your parenting questions. Tune in live today at 3pm, or listen back to the podcasts of the show.
