The Queen is coming to visit Ireland. No, not that one, the other one. The REAL one.
Beyonce Knowles is arriving to perform in Croke Park on Saturday, and around 80,000 people are expected to descend upon the capital to catch a glimpse of humanity perfected, and then sing along to all of their favourite songs of hers, and then try not to cry when she knocks one of her power-ballads clean out of the park.
However, you didn't manage to secure a ticket to the gig - or, gasp!, you don't like Beyonce enough to go to her gig - there actually are one or two other things for you to do to get you through your Bey-less weekend.
GALWAY FILM FLEADH
The West Coast Cannes is in full swing this weekend, filled with home-grown and international features, shorts, and public Q&As with some famous folk! Expect everything from stuff filmed on a 'Video Phone', all the way up to future Oscar-winners. Let's hope the awards don't give anyone a big 'Ego'.
For those looking for something family-friendly to do, because if you happen to have a 'Baby Boy' or girl, this Oldtown, Co. Dublin-situated farm is having a special Toddler Friendly day this weekend, where you get to meet the animals, go on a pony ride, travel on Thomas The Tank Engine, and loads more.
MR. ROBOT
Don't worry if you've never heard of it, because hardly anyone on this side of the Atlantic has. When we watched the first season of this psychological thriller that's one part Fight Club and one part The Social Network, we immediately fell 'Crazy In Love'. The second season is about to kick off in the States, and the only way to get it in Ireland at the minute is the purchase the first season on DVD. Remember them?
Right in the centre of Dublin, this is a must-do for any fans of the Crystal Maze! There's two rooms filled with mind-bending buzzles, and you and your friends have an hour to figure them all out and escape. Team-work is the key, so it's all about working in 'Formation'.
The comedic trio are bringing their uniquely Irish sensabilities to Dun Laoghaire's Pavilion Theatre this Saturday, with their new show 'SkiddlyWup' following hot on the heels of all those viral videos and, eh, curry sauce ads. Plus they've already got the 'Green Light' from Will Ferrell and Rowan Atkinson, so you know they must be good.
Maybe you wanna feel a little more cultured, in which case, allow us to 'Upgrade U'. This collection of modern and contemporary art that has been developed over the past ten years, collected and recorded for future generations. Everything from paintings to film and video instillations are here, and the best part of all? It's totally free!
Oldcastle in County Meath will be hosting the Tough Mudder course over the weekend, for anyone looking for something a bit more physical, that'll make them feel 'Flawless' when they cross the finish line. Ten miles of obstacles and, well, mud, will put even the most fit to the test. Just remember to keep 'Runnin', or you'll 'Lose It All'.
P.S. 'Sorry' for all the song puns.