Charging your adult children rent is good for their development – but it’s no easy thing to do, Ciara Kelly has said.
She was speaking after Newstalk’s Sinead Ryan used her latest Irish Independent piece to ask the question, should you charge your adult children money for staying at home?
She used the example of a couple who are arguing over whether their daughter, who has a full-time job, should be paying rent and contributing to bills while living at home.
She notes that that young woman has just returned home from college in the UK – and her job is not related to her degree or the future career she is aiming for.
On Newstalk Breakfast this morning, Ciara said she can see the logic in charging adult children money – but she’s not sure she would do it herself.
“I feel - my head feels - that the good parenting thing is to take some money,” she said.
“I think it probably gives people training about budgeting, I think it probably gives people a sense of responsibility – I think it probably fosters a work ethic and all of those good things that you would want your children to have.
“But part of me I know - and it is probably more about me than about anything else and this is why I’m struggling with this - I would find it really difficult to ask my kids for money.
“Money flows only one way in my relationship with my children and that flow is like a haemorrhage half the time.”
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"Parenting is hard"
Despite that, she said she does worry that she is “getting it wrong”, adding, “I actually feel the better thing is to give my kids some kind of a structure of responsibility”.
“I’ve often looked at other parents and thought, ‘You’re doing that for you, not for your kids,’” she said.
“I worry this is about me that I kind of want to be loved and this, kind of, benefactor kind of thing.
“But I think it is actually better for them to, actually, you know, have a bit of cop on about things.
“Parenting is hard is the bottom line.”
Fellow presenter Shane Coleman said children should definitely contribute in households that are struggling to pay the bills.
In wealthier homes, he said, it is up to individual parents.
"I kind of agree with you,” he said.
“My head says, yes, it is a good idea – but it is kind of hard. I imagine it would be hard to take a few bob from the kids.
“I certainly wouldn’t be charging them rent but, if they’re sitting there having a glass of wine with you on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday night, then maybe they should be giving