Every year as Advent rolls out, the battle to become the Christmas chart champion heats up.
Since 2006, the singer to claim the top spot in the Irish charts has been the victor of the X Factor, though 2014 is throwing a new contender into the ring. Already poised at the top of the pile is the new version of Band Aid, and if it’s usurped by Christmas Day, it’ll be the first time Bob Geldof and Midge Ure’s charity single hasn't won out – each of the three previous versions have been the Christmas number one.
The last Irish act to achieve the festive feat was Mario Rosenstock, the Today FM satirist poking fun at Roy Keane with the parody song ‘Leave Right Now’. Since then The Rubberbandits and Sawdoctors have both come close, but the Irish public’s insatiable appetite for Simon Cowell’s crew has pipped them to the post.
Over the 52-year history of the Irish singles’ charts, some unusual songs have made it to number one, so here’s our look at the odd, the bad, and one rather unfortunate song by Gary Glitter…
1980: There’s No-one Quite Like Grandma – St Winifred’s School Choir
Novelty records come and go, but this song, which topped the charts on both sides of the Irish Sea did so at the expense of Jonah Lewie’s Stop the Cavalry – now a holiday favourite. Worse still, it kept a single released by John Lennon off the Christmas number one, just three weeks after the Beatle had been shot dead in New York.
2001: What If – Kate Winslet
In the meantime, the British actress has gone on to win an Oscar and a couple of Golden Globes, becoming one of the most celebrated and critically acclaimed screen actresses of her generation. But surely her number one single for an animated version of A Christmas Carol is the thing she’s most proud of her in illustrious career. A bit less What If, a lot more WTF…
1985: Thank You Very Much Mr Eastwood – Dermot Morgan
20 years before Mario Rosenstock’s parody work, the late Father Ted actor was taking pot shots at Irish boxer Barry McGuigan’s famous declarations of gratitude to his trainer, Barney Eastwood, at the end of every bout. One of the only records ever released by Morgan, the single included impressions of US-president Ronald Reagan, Pope John Paul II and Bob Geldof.
1992: I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
Worthy of mention given that it was still the number one having made the top spot on the 2nd of November…
1974: Oh Yes! You Are Beautiful! – Gary Glitter
Well, it probably doesn’t get more awkward than a song by a convicted paedophile called 'Oh Yes! You Are Beautiful!'.
1988: Mistletoe & Wine – Cliff Richard
Although the Christian rocker has scored the Christmas top spot in the UK four times, his fortunes have fared worse in Ireland, with this being his only standalone number one (he gets another for his contribution to Band Aid II in 1989). This song is now so reviled it was banned from every outlet of Costa Coffee, after a poll of 3,000 people declared it the worse Christmas song of all time.
1982: Save Your Love – Renée & Renato
The real Renée, Hilary Lester, doesn’t even appear in the actual music video, replaced by a model. Lester would go on to join another band two singles later. Love couldn’t save them.
1996: 2 Become 1 – Spice Girls
At the zenith of their zigazigah-ing power, the quintessential girl band released arguably the most sexualised song to be memorised and sung by young fans all over the world. Singing along to the song’s thinly-veiled lyrics must have made for some awkward parental moments.
1990: The Christmas No 1 – Zig & Zag
The planet Zog brothers' Christmas song isn’t all that well remembered anymore, but did help launch the pop career of a gravel-voiced Dustin the Turkey – the fowl singer would go on to release five studio albums and a greatest hits.
1968 – Lily The Pink – The Scaffold
Worthy of mention given that future pop-music icon Elton John and lyricist Tim Rice both worked behind the scenes on this comedic celebration of taking drugs.
