On this evening’s Right Hook, guest host Jonathan Healy will be talking eulogies with the Irish journalist Claire Grady, who recently wrote that she doesn’t want one at her own funeral.
Writing a blog post for eHospice, Grady outlines her reasons for why she doesn’t wish to be eulogised from the pulpit in the event of her death. “Oh I’ve heard some wonderful eulogies. I’ve laughed, cried, and, I admit, enjoyed quite a few,” she says. “But often, I’ve felt like turning away from the anguish of a grief-stricken person struggling to ‘do justice’ to the memory of a loved one.”
To hear the discussion between Jonathan and Claire about eulogies this evening, tune in live at 17.30, or listen back to the show’s podcasts here.
One of the most iconic and memorable eulogies ever delivered was Graham Chapman’s. The British comedian, one of the founding members of Monty Python, continually pushed the boundaries of propriety and taste throughout a career that brought many of the troupe’s most celebrated sketches to screen.
Speaking once on the topic of mortality, Chapman remarked: “Death can really absorb a person. Like most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it’s more or less inevitable.”
Fond of smoking pipes, on a routine visit to the dentist, a cancerous tumour was discovered on Chapman’s tonsils. The cancer then spread to his spine, and on October 4th, 1989, Chapman was hospitalised following a massive stroke. This developed into a brain haemorrhage, which ultimately killed him. He was 48.
At his funeral, his writing partner John Cleese delivered what has become a benchmark in fondly mourning a friend. Living up to true Python form, the tongue-in-cheek speech has become as famous and beloved as many of the group’s sketches and movies. The video of the piece below, also includes Michael Palin’s moving tribute, as well as a sing-along of Always Look on the Bright Side of Life led by Eric Idle.
The full text to John Cleese's eulogy of Graham Chapman:
Graham Chapman, co-author of the ‘Parrot Sketch,’ is no more.
He has ceased to be, bereft of life, he rests in peace, he has kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the Great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky, and I guess that we’re all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, such capability and kindness, of such intelligence should now be so suddenly spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he’d achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he’d had enough fun.
Well, I feel that I should say, “Nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard! I hope he fries. ”
And the reason I think I should say this is, he would never forgive me if I didn’t, if I threw away this opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him but mindless good taste. I could hear him whispering in my ear last night as I was writing this:
“Alright, Cleese, you’re very proud of being the first person to ever say ‘sh**’ on television. If this service is really for me, just for starters, I want you to be the first person ever at a British memorial service to say ‘f***’!”
You see, the trouble is, I can’t. If he were here with me now I would probably have the courage, because he always emboldened me. But the truth is, I lack his balls, his splendid defiance. And so I’ll have to content myself instead with saying ‘Betty Mardsen…’
But bolder and less inhibited spirits than me follow today. Jones and Idle, Gilliam and Palin. Heaven knows what the next hour will bring in Graham’s name. Trousers dropping, blasphemers on pogo sticks, spectacular displays of high-speed farting, synchronized incest. One of the four is planning to stuff a dead ocelot and a 1922 Remington typewriter up his own arse to the sound of the second movement of Elgar’s cello concerto. And that’s in the first half.
Because you see, Gray would have wanted it this way. Really. Anything for him but mindless good taste. And that’s what I’ll always remember about him—apart, of course, from his Olympian extravagance. He was the prince of bad taste. He loved to shock. In fact, Gray, more than anyone I knew, embodied and symbolised all that was most offensive and juvenile in Monty Python. And his delight in shocking people led him on to greater and greater feats. I like to think of him as the pioneering beacon that beat the path along which fainter spirits could follow.
Some memories. I remember writing the undertaker speech with him, and him suggesting the punch line, ‘All right, we’ll eat her, but if you feel bad about it afterwards, we’ll dig a grave and you can throw up into it.’ I remember discovering in 1969, when we wrote every day at the flat where Connie Booth and I lived, that he’d recently discovered the game of printing four-letter words on neat little squares of paper, and then quietly placing them at strategic points around our flat, forcing Connie and me into frantic last minute paper chases whenever we were expecting important guests.
I remember him at BBC parties crawling around on all fours, rubbing himself affectionately against the legs of gray-suited executives, and delicately nibbling the more appetizing female calves. Mrs. Eric Morecambe remembers that too.
I remember his being invited to speak at the Oxford union, and entering the chamber dressed as a carrot—a full length orange tapering costume with a large, bright green sprig as a hat—-and then, when his turn came to speak, refusing to do so. He just stood there, literally speechless, for twenty minutes, smiling beatifically. The only time in world history that a totally silent man has succeeded in inciting a riot.
I remember Graham receiving a Sun newspaper TV award from Reggie Maudling. Who else! And taking the trophy falling to the ground and crawling all the way back to his table, screaming loudly, as loudly as he could. And if you remember Gray, that was very loud indeed.
It is magnificent, isn’t it? You see, the thing about shock… is not that it upsets some people, I think; I think that it gives others a momentary joy of liberation, as we realised in that instant that the social rules that constrict our lives so terribly are not actually very important.
Well, Gray can’t do that for us anymore. He’s gone. He is an ex-Chapman. All we have of him now is our memories. But it will be some time before they fade.
