This week on Adult, one listener asked for advice convincing her elderly dad to actually spend his money rather than saving it for a rainy day.

“My fathers in his 80s and is thankfully in good health, but as he’s got older, he’s become more conscious of not spending any money,” she told Moncrieff.

“He was always careful but has now got to the point where he won’t do any maintenance on the house.

“The heating broke, and he doesn’t want a plumber in the house, so instead, he got an electric heater and is essentially living in cold, damp misery.”

The letter writer said that apart from the heating, her dad also refuses to get a new oven and is now living on microwave meals.

Man inserting meal in microwave oven

“He watches every penny at a point in his life where he should be spending his pension,” they said.

“How do I convince him to spend money on himself and the house?

“It’s hard to watch someone in their last years of life not allow themselves to spend their hard-earned money on themselves before it’s too late.”

Independence

Broadcaster Barbara Scully said that while it’s hard to watch someone operate under this mindset, the letter writer should be careful not to infringe on her father’s independence.

“I know from my mother, she lived in fear and dread of something major going wrong in the house that required like, thousands and thousands of euros to fix, and she would be afraid that she mightn’t have it,” she said.

“And against the vulnerability is the fact that just because somebody is old and frail doesn’t mean they lose the right to make their own decisions about how they want to live.

“I think that’s really important as well because I think too often – and I’m including myself in this – that adult children can go rowing in and saying, ‘Actually now this is what we’re going to do about this’.

“I think that’s not fair.”

3BF0GY3 Old Age Pensioner Heating Allowance

However, Barbara acknowledged that the heating is a pressing issue that can’t be ignored going into the winter season.

“I think, yes, definitely you should have a chat with your dad,” she said.

“But instead of bringing all the bits in, and ‘You won’t buy yourself new clothes, and you won’t repair the oven,’ just focus on, ‘Dad, we know a plumber who’s really good’.

“’He’ll be in and out as soon as possible, and we’ll just get the heating going again’.”

According to Barbara, if this man is happy living on his microwaved dinners, so be it.

TV personality Declan Buckley also pointed out that this man might be facing up to “the big happy ending”, and simply can’t be bothered fixing these things.

Main image: Hands of an elderly pensioner holding leather wallet with euro currency money. Concept of financial security in old age.