I am a single mum with a six-year-old son. Two weeks before my son was born my husband took his own life. My son is now having crying outbursts saying he misses his dad and he is starting to draw him in pictures. Recently my mum died too and this grief is coming out. I feel that my son is taking on my sadness too and I don't want that. What counselling could I get for him?

I am sorry to hear of the sadness that seems to have filled your life.

I would love to know what sort of pictures your son is drawing. It would be helpful to know. I am sure you must be so sad at times and wonder why life has brought so much trouble to you. No doubt your own grief, combined with the fatigue that comes with being a single parent, is obvious to your son. It may well be the cause of some of his crying and asking for his father.

I do not think your son needs professional counselling. He probably needs to know the truth about his father, but not the whole truth. It will be enough for him to know that his daddy died before he was born. I wonder does he have a picture of his father? It may be helpful to him.

Your conversations with him should be brief and address the questions he is asking. I also think that you could benefit from some short-term and focused counselling. Life has given you a lot to deal with and sometimes the struggle can be too hard for us to bear alone. The loss of your mother has only compounded your grief and probably brought back some residual, unresolved grief from the loss of your husband.

Death by suicide leaves a horrible scar on the survivors that can last for years.

When another death comes along it causes the pain and feelings from the first bereavement to arise again. Please consider getting some help for yourself in these difficult times.

Your son will be fine, I think. He needs some reassurance and to be told about his daddy. Obviously he never knew his father. At least in part he is reacting to your own grief.

Look after yourself please and things will improve as time goes by. 

Every week on Moncrieff, David Carey, a psychologist with over 25 years experience in both clinical and educational settings, answers your parenting questions. Tune in live today at 3pm, or listen back to the podcasts of the show.