"Take the money and run!" the satirist declared at a special debate on the tech giant in Strasbourg...
German MEP Martin Sonneborn called on Ireland to be ejected from the European Union for refusing to take €13 billion in back taxes from Apple.
Considering Sonneborn has form, however, it was hard to tell how much of his speech was delivered jokingly when he addressed the European Parliament in Strasbourg this week.
The 51-year-old said kicking the country out of the union would show that Europe was looking out for its citizens and not multinationals.
Switching to English, the Irish Times reports him as then reading out an address to Michael D Higgins:
"If you still believe that Apple will create some Jobs in Ireland, forget it. Apple only ever had one Jobs but he is dead. He will not come back.
"So please take my advice: take the money and run. €13 billion will buy you many, many iPhones. This will generate more tax income for Ireland. Then you can buy even more iPhones. It is a win-win-win situation. Think it over with a good bottle of whiskey. Sláinte.”
Sonneborn also suggested Hungary should follow Britain out of the EU along with Ireland, a reference to Luxembourg's foreign minister calling on the expulsion of the country for refusing to accept refugees.
The German was elected to the European Parliament in 2014, running on the slogan "Yes to Europe, No to Europe. Die Partie".
He had promised to quit after a month and collect his pension, allowing another party member to take his position and do the same.
After opting to stay on, he now sits on the parliament's cultural committee and is part of the delegation for relations to the Korean peninsula.
He was formerly the editor-in-chief of German satirical magazine Titanic.