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'We really do funerals well' - Why the Irish deal with grief better than others

Irish wakes may actually help people cope better with bereavement compared to funeral services in other countries
Jack Quann
Jack Quann

17.43 22 Nov 2023


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'We really do funerals well' -...

'We really do funerals well' - Why the Irish deal with grief better than others

Jack Quann
Jack Quann

17.43 22 Nov 2023


Share this article


Traditional Irish wakes may actually help people cope better with bereavement, new research has suggested.

A study, which involved more than 2,000 people, looked at Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD).

The disorder is described as an enduring yearning for a deceased person for six to 12 months after a death.

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It can sometimes impair people's ability to function.

About 10.9% of grieving people in Ireland featured in the research met the disorder criteria, compared to 15.3% in the UK.

Irish Times Columnist Brianna Parkins told Lunchtime Live it could be down to cultural differences.

"It's one more thing to have over the Brits, which is just great for us," she said.

"When they were looking at why, the researchers from Ulster, Maynooth and Napier University said it could be the cultural differences.

"They specifically referenced the wake and how there's a greater sense of community within the Irish bereavement culture.

"Basically, we're all gathering around the person so it might help them heal a bit better".

Sense of community

Death doula Lisa Clancy told the show the Irish approach gives people a bigger sense of justice for their loved one.

"As Irish we ritualise our funerals very, very well," she said.

"The whole community comes together, they surround the family, and we make it a real celebration about someone's life.

"I think a lot of Irish people, after a funeral is over, will feel like they've done great justice to their person.

"When they've done that maybe the added layer of guilt that can come with grief doesn't come as much when we've really done our funerals well.

"That can just help with that complex grief situation," she added.

'Personalised grief'

Ms Parkins said Irish grief seems to be much more personalised than that of her native Australia.

"I do like that aspect of you start to hear stories about your loved one that you didn't know," she said.

"You start to understand how important they were to other people in the community.

"I would say I really suffer with the way Australians do grief - Anglo-Australians anyway - they see it as a very private thing.

"It would be almost unheard of to, say, go to your friend's dad's funeral or go to a colleague's mother's funeral - which is seen as part and parcel in Ireland.

"It can be very, very lonely and people almost avoid death, they don't want to talk about it," she added.

Listen back here:

Main image: Undated file photo of a funeral taking place

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Bereavement Brianna Parkins Funeral Grief Irish Irish Bereavement Culture Lisa Clancy Lunchtime Live Prolonged Grief Disorder

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