It’s the morning after the night before... The long-delayed Newstalk Lunchtime Christmas Party was last night. No, I was always a fan of the fourth wall so you’re not getting any news on that.

Claire Daly’s bill. Shot down by a hail of indifference. That’s what has me thinking today. So as a gentle start, here’s an open letter to an Tánaiste.

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Dear Joan,

You don’t really know me. Actually, that’s not exactly true. You see me as you pop in and out of Newstalk Towers. I’m the butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-mouth disabled guy.

Anyway...

I feel if you need a confidante, I’m your man. Let’s start with the AG’s advice. You can tell me. Was it really only eight words long?

“2016 election. Come on folks. Let’s get real...” Is that how it went?

Anyway Joan, you know where I am if you need me.

Steve

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Just to prove I’m an equal opportunity political satirist, there now follows a series of ‘daikus’. They’re a bit like haikus, but not exactly poetic... or bound by syllabic selection. Call them free prose...

Mary-Lou! Welcome back to Undaunted.

You had a busy Friday. Bunking off the Dáil for morning tea in Wynnes Hotel. Oh no, not quite dossing... there was something about 1916.

This celebration thing. It’s getting to ‘Irish-wedding’ scale. Except it’s not quite #OpenToAll, is it?

Instead of calling Franc, here’s the Daunt plan... the family of the Brit officer who gave the order to shoot? Give them all honorary Irish citizenship. Their great-great-granddad had a helping hand in making the Irish state a reality, after all.

At the same time, we can celebrate the great unpredictable Irish electorate. Easter Monday... what the hell are those madsers doing? We wanna go to the races. Easter Friday, we’ll don our mourning black and wrap ourselves in the aul green flag... celebrating that single mindedness will be simple, effective and cheap.

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As for you, Joe Higgins, as an ex-school teacher, can you not  do a bit of extra tuition around spelling and comprehension? I might start with words like ‘democracy’. And if young Murphy gets his head around that, then I’d go for ‘peaceful protest’.

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Micheál Martin, uachtarán Fhianna Fáil... Remind me again who you are? This invisibility will drive you back to the smokes. Mark my words...

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Enda, Mayo to win the League and then fizzle out during the Championship?  Speaking about sport... that’s the way to go.

No real point in chatting about politics. Sure we know you don’t do that...