Here in Ireland, we love giving out. In fact, we love complaint in all its forms: grumbling, groaning, grouching, lamenting, bewailing – the truth is, if we haven’t bewailed something before breakfast, we don’t feel properly set up for the day.
It’s probably one of the reasons behind Newstalk Breakfast’s steadfast listenership: you bring us the breaking news over our coffee and cornflakes and we’re set: we know what we’ll spend the rest of the day giving out about. You could say this makes Newstalk a major giving out outlet. A giving-outlet, if you will.
Giving out is the national pastime, a way of bonding, even therapy. Of all nations, we do it best. We’ve raised it to an art form. Historically, we’ve had plenty to give out about; years and years and years of oppression, or what I call ‘The Shushening’ (‘Oppression’ just isn’t funny - who knew?).
Whatever you call it - whether it was being told what language to speak, that we were thick and only good for the odd postcard shoot, told to pay for other people’s messes, told we weren’t sexy, told what religion was the holiest or whatever, The Shushening was definitely not hilarious. We had to develop a very dark sense of humour to weather it all - including the weather.
“I often picture us in ancient times as a happy-go-lucky, carefree people, dancing on mountain tops and having the odd naked harvest festival to get us through the long, dark summers.”
Ireland is changing before our eyes and beneath our feet, and it suddenly feels like years and years of Shushening are falling away. I often picture us in ancient times as a happy-go-lucky, carefree people, dancing on mountain tops and having the odd naked harvest festival to get us through the long, dark summers. But then someone (I think we all have a fair idea who) came with a giant shame cloak and covered us all. That put a stop to our gallop. For centuries, shame and Shushening stopped us doing all manner of things, and completely eroded our national self-esteem. There was no point trying to tackle a problem, you’d only be shushed and squished back into place again. All that was left was for you to give out yards about it. So we got very good at that.
But recently, slowly, the edges of the shame cloak have lifted and some cracks of light seem to be filling up the country again. This makes some people very uncomfortable. They loved the cozy darkness of the shame cloak and they don’t want to see it go: they’d love it if we each had a shame cloak - and probably a shame vest to stop shame going to our chests and giving us pneumonia, or however it is vests work. (Hint: vests are believed to have magical powers.)
“If you’re talking raising complaint to an art form, the Irish are full-blown Michelangelos”
And like most vests, this ‘new’ Ireland won’t suit everyone. That’s why, no matter how good things might eventually get (Green shoots! JOBS! The economy! Don’t talk about the homelessness crisis!), there will always be someone who needs to give out. Thank goodness for that – there’d be a lot of empty column inches in the papers and dead radio airtime without them.
Sometimes, the big stuff is just too big, so we’ll focus on potholes or swearing or seagulls, just to let off steam in a manageable way. But no matter what the focus, you can be full sure we’ll always find something to give out about. The best way to discover the heart of a nation is to find what they’re Giving Out Yards about.And if you’re talking raising complaint to an art form, the Irish are full-blown Michelangelos.
Giving Out Yards: the Art of Complaint, Irish Style (Hachette Books Ireland) written by Tara Flynn is in bookshops from October 15th. Find out more at www.taraflynn.ie.
