Like Harry Redknapp hanging out of a car window, we're here to cut through the nonsense
We've not reached Blue Monday just yet and some of us are lucky enough to not even have to go back to work.
But speaking on behalf of the rest of us: don't rub it in. It's unbecoming. And honestly, it's not a great colour on you.
So with silly season afoot, we've decided to sift through some of the best gossip, whispers, murmurs and other assorted animal noises to pick out some of the best transfer talk.
Transfer news is often speculation, nonsense or something even less reliable than that. While it might be a post-truth era, we're determined to press on with a look at the likely, unlikely and straight up ridiculous transfer rumours.
Queue for the Dele
Tottenham Hotspur have a habit of letting their best talent leave the club, but only at the right price. Gareth Bale and Luka Modric both left London for the sunnier climes of Real Madrid and it appears the same is about to happen all over again. Sky Sports report that last season's Champions League winners are set to join the chase for promising young midfielder, Dele Alli.
The England international, who played a vital role in Tottenham's push for the title last season, has scored 20 goals and notched 10 assists in 51 league appearances since joining from MK Dons.
Mathieu Debuchy shed light on his frosty relationship with Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger last week, claiming that the Frenchman blocked him from joining rivals Manchester United last January.
"We acknowledge each other, we say hello, nothing more," he said in an interview with L’Equipe. "My situation doesn’t meet what I had been hoping for, but that’s football. There have been things, injuries and the coach’s choices, that have meant that I haven’t played. Even if I don’t understand, I’m not surprised, I know how it works."
The Daily Mirror reckon that Debuchy will be allowed to leave the club before the end of January, but did not mention a possible suitor for the fullback.
Arsenal's Mathieu Debuchy could leave London by the end of the month. Image: John Walton / PA Archive/PA Images
Schneiderlin the Blue
Morgan Schneiderlin was one of Louis van Gaal's first purchases in 2015 as the fabled war chest was broken out. If United were going to make it back into Europe again, they were going to go where many top Premier League teams go when they need talent and inspiration. They went to Southampton.
The Frenchman has fallen out of favour with new manager Jose Mourinho, who has opted for his midfield to comprise of Paul Pogba, Michael Carrick and the blossoming Ander Herrera. The Daily Telegraph claim that United have turned down a £19m bid to take him to Everton. Could we see Schneiderlin tog out in a hue of blue? We're not so sure.
Valencia ready to move for Mikel
One of the keys to Chelsea's winning run so far this season has been the player's ability to adjust and thrive in their new 3-4-3 system. They have retained a rather steady starting XI as well, with N'Golo Kante and Cesc Fabregas among those who have retained starting berths. That limits opportunities for the likes of John-Obi Mikel.
With the once mighty Valencia in free-fall, The Daily Mail claim that the Spanish side have joined the midfielder who looks at the moment like he's surplus to requirements.
Morgan Schneiderlin has found game time hard to come by this season. Image: Adam Davy / EMPICS Sport
Moyes may not be Short changed for long...
The Sunderland Echo claim that Black Cats boss David Moyes has been in contact with club owner Ellis Short about the possibility of strengthening the squad in January. Moyes admitted before Christmas that had he known about limited funds available to him in January, he would have been forced to reconsider taking the job. With wage restrictions already in place, the club looks to also keep their £73m wage bill within Premier League remuneration cap rules. Don't expect many - if any - additions this month.
David Moyes is unlikely to be able to make an substantial moves in the transfer market this January. Image: Owen Humphreys / PA Wire/PA Images
Conor Hourihane was on hand to snatch his fifth goal of the season on Saturday afternoon with a wonderful effort from distance. The late winner saw Barnsley take all three points away to Nottingham Forest.
The Cork native has been in scintillating form this season and has been attracting from the likes of Aston Villa, Newcastle and Celtic. At 25, Hourihane is still only young and with another promising youth on their way out of Tottenham Hotspur (see 'Queue for the Dele') he could be on his way to North London.