Like Harry Redknapp hanging out of a car window, we're here to cut through the nonsense
Silly season is almost upon us, so we're here to sift through the nonsense and add in some of our own to the mix to see if it catches on.
Transfer news is often speculation, nonsense or something even less reliable than that. While it might be a post-truth era, we're determined to press on with a look at the likely, unlikely and straight up ridiculous transfer rumours.
Witsel to China
This one seems to be all but done, as Witsel is ready to turn down interest from Juventus, Chelsea and Everton to move to China. No more trips to Tallaght Stadium for Axel...
Paul Clement appointed as Swansea boss
The momentum is headed that way, and it seems pretty much inevitable that he will be appointed as the new manager in a matter of time. Kevin Kilbane reckons it might be a case of right place, wrong time for the former Derby man.
Between the Stokes
Terrible puns aside, Stoke's deal to buy goalkeeper Lee Grant from Derby has apparently been agreed, with a fee in the region of £1 million believed to have been offered.
Money, money, money
The Daily Mirror reckon that, in keeping with the club ethos established over the last while, Swansea are ready to spend their way out of relegation trouble. Because that always works... Anyway, if (and when) they do appoint Clement, they're ready to give him money to improve the squad, but their major signing should be a solid central defender, which will be hard to come across at this point in the season.
No way, Pepe
The Portuguese defender is apparently being courted by at least two clubs from the Chinese Super League, and while the money is sure to be good, it seems a bit too close to the World Cup in 2018 for the recently-crowned champion of Europe to trade Madrid for anywhere else at the moment.
The Daily Mirror believe Georginio Wijnaldum has gotten in contact with his friend Quincy Promes and told him that he should come to Liverpool and play under Jurgen Klopp. Recommending mates doesn't always work out, but the Dutch winger is being chased by a number of clubs so if he does sign, it's not because Wijnaldum told him it would be fun.
The likes of your Vidals, Chelseas...
Arturo Vidal has, according to The Sun, poured fuel all over the fire of speculation linking him to Chelsea by liking an Instagram post which mentioned the rumoured move to London. Because social media always tells the truth.
China seems to be the place to go these days, so we're going to pick a club and a player, and see if we can make some magic happen. Shandong Luneng are readying a mega-money swoop for Olivier Giroud after his phenomenal scorpion kick goal against Crystal Palace on Sunday.