Like Harry Redknapp hanging out of a car window, we're here to cut through the nonsense
Silly season is almost upon us, so we're here to sift through the nonsense and add in some of our own to the mix to see if it catches on.
Transfer news is often speculation, nonsense or something even less reliable than that. While it might be a post-truth era, we're determined to press on with a look at the likely, unlikely and straight up ridiculous transfer rumours.
Zaha staying at Crystal Palace
There was "speculation" that the winger would be on the chopping block after the arrival of Sam Allardyce and his insistence on traveling to represent Cote d'Ivoire at the African Cup of Nations, but with him providing ammunition for Christian Benteke up top, it would be silly for the former England boss to put him up for sale.
Zola looks to Chelsea for loan deals
The use of the word "raid" should always raise some eyebrows, but Chelsea love a good loan deal, and Zola may still have some connections that could help him bring a few players to Birmingham.
Mathieu Debuchy on the move
The defender's relationship with Wenger has deteriorated after he claimed the manager blocked his move to Old Trafford in the summer of 2015, and he's definitely on the fringes at the club. A move would probably suit both parties here.
Bojan Krkic leaving Stoke
The Sun report he's willing to listen to offers, and given that he has somewhat gotten his career back on track with Stoke, there might be no better time to secure a move to somewhere with slightly loftier ambitions.
Arturo Vidal swapping Munich for London
The Chilean midfielder is a force of nature and has an incredible engine, as well as a touch of class. However, Chelsea do seem to be well covered in midfield and while they made some money on the Oscar sale, it's unlikely Bayern will let Vidal leave for anything like the £38 million being quoted by The Sun.
Saido Berahino finally leaving?
Tony Pulis and Saido Berahino have had a tumultuous relationship over the last 18 months or so. It is clearly in the player's interest to get away from the Hawthorns to learn under a different manager, and the Daily Mirror claim that it might finally happen this January. Saido has been hurt too many times before though, so don't hold your breath.
Isco to Manchester City
Yesterday it was Tottenham, and today it's Manchester City, as The Sun report that Pep Guardiola is eyeing a move for him in the summer. Isco wouldn't really suit his style of play (he's great on the ball but tends to hold on to it for slightly too long) and would surely want to go somewhere where he's a guaranteed starter.
Fernando Llorente warming Chelsea's bench
The Sun again with this one. The two worked together at Juventus, and this smells like a case of someone thinking 2+2=63.
Morgan Schneiderlin chooses West Ham
After being frozen out by Mourinho and with a £20 million pricetag on his head, the Frenchman decides that he would prefer moving to London rather than going to West Brom, and issues a "come get me" plea to Slaven Bilic. West Ham, West Brom, sure what's the difference?