"You wouldn't want to believe the rubbish you read in the papers" - The Newspaper Review

Ivan and Chris take a look at the morning papers...

It's not just the most wonderful time of the year, it's also the most amorous time of the year... at least according to The Irish Daily Mail.

Women have their best 'relations' at the age of 30, while men don't peak until 33.

And apparently Christmas also inspires people to dress up more in the bedroom.

On the front pages: 

All papers have the tragic car crash in Fermoy, Co Cork yesterday, in which a mother and daughter died.

Martin Turner's cartoon image of the crib on the front page of The Irish Times comes with the tagline - "It's not much, but at least it meets the 2015 Irish Department of Environment building guidelines".

That paper is leading with: "Midwives to be given greater role in new plan".

Their second story: "Fine Gael election team advised by Tory strategists" also in The Irish Times.

In The Examiner: "Adams - people who are in the IRA are not criminals".

The Irish Daily Star: "Be my Jihadi bride - ISIS killers are grooming Irish women to be jihadi brides".

Inside the papers: 

The Irish Daily Mail: "Shoplifters will steal over €56 million worth of items over the holidays". 22% of shoplifting occurs during the festive period.

The Sun has a list charting the ratio of pubs to people in Ireland's rural towns. Liscannor village in East Clare - population 129 residents - takes first place. It has one pub for every 26 people living there.

The Mirror covers the baffling queries the public sent in to the DSPCA. One woman wanted all the pigeons removed from the sky around her house, because they were fouling her washing and another wanted to know if it her puppy would be ok to feed himself for a week while she went on holidays?

Miriam Lord on John Perry in The Irish Times comes highly recommended today.

And also in that paper, "Tax on sugary drinks remains under consideration, despite not being included in the budget".

Alan Kelly's home is seven times the size of the tiny apartments he regulated for yesterday, according to The Irish Independent.

The Irish Examiner says a judge in England has given two convicts an extra nine months to serve after they filmed a rap video to entertain themselves while behind bars, but in doing so they revealed they had an illegally held phone.

Listen to the newspaper review here: