With just a few hours of daylight remaining before night falls on 2014’s Halloween, those of us that haven’t got a costume yet and face the prospect of a party in our civvies need to get our acts together.
There’ll be monster queues for monster parts at every joke and costume shop in the land, so here’s are the elements of what you’ll need to build the very best Irish Halloween costume…
- Better Planning
Halloween isn’t about the kids anymore, folks. This isn’t 1964. Modern Halloween is all about keeping ahead of the Joneses, with meticulous planning and attention to detail.
Last year, one Dublin Halloween party’s Game of Thrones shindig was a massive viral hit online.
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You think those guys started on their costumes by skipping out for some PVC glue during their lunch break? Start planning for 2015 now.
- Identity Theft
My nephew going to school as Marty Morrissey today! pic.twitter.com/FGUXIwfMxP
— Andrina Coll (@andrinacoll) October 25, 2013
When in a costume crisis, perhaps the easiest solution is to artfully recreate the likeness of a well-known Irish figure. Sure, their wardrobe is filled with expensive finery, but a quick visit to your local charity shop and the cheapest wig you can find should help you fashion a funny costume that everyone will like.
The more Irish the person, the better the reaction.
- Topical, Pop Culture or Geographic Reference
This is superior to the celebrity likeness, as it is far more original. Think ‘The guy who robbed Twink’s dog’ or ‘sexy water meter’. Cultural currency can paper over the cracks of crafting ineptitude, and is a solid way to head into a party with your head held high.
How high? As high as Bray head...
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Though the joke can wear thin if you're delaying a bus on O'Connell St...
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- Money
Halloween costume fame costs, and joke shops are where you start paying in sweaty notes pulled from your pockets. And it’s only getting more expensive.
Do you have access to a 3D printer? A spare smartphone? A professional make-up artist? Do you have the technical skills to realise your grandiose vision?
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“But I’ll just make my costume,” you say. Wrong – homemade ones have the doubly hard job of having to look amazing and be flawlessly executed. Just look at this Emmet from The Lego Movie. This is homemade. By an amateur. Give up now.
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- Kids
While Halloween is now really for grown-up children, real children do provide scale models to practice your costume schemes on. The next best thing to having yourself feature in a gallery of costumes is dressing your toddler up as a TV meth-dealer or 90s pet detective and having him get all those likes.
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Furthermore, spending some quality time with your kids can result in some of the most heart-warming Halloween moments. Like this Donegal dad who did something very special for his son…
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If you don't have kids, pets will do in a pinch.
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- A black bin bag
When in doubt, a black bin liner has been a staple of Irish Halloween for decades.
