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Does too much praise raise problems for children?

We’ve all seen them, the crudely rendered drawings stuck on fridge doors or office cubicles...
Newstalk
Newstalk

13.34 3 Mar 2015


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Does too much praise raise pro...

Does too much praise raise problems for children?

Newstalk
Newstalk

13.34 3 Mar 2015


Share this article


We’ve all seen them, the crudely rendered drawings stuck on fridge doors or office cubicles. Picasso has nothing on kids, whose obscure observations of the human body and careless abandon for colouring inside the lines are an artistic movement in their own right. “What a brilliant picture,” you say, “It’s the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

This is a lie, but it might also be damaging your child. On today’s Right Hook, George will talk to Dr Damien Lowry, senior psychologist at the Mater Hospital, about the role of praise in rearing happy children, and how using it sparingly could be the key.

Tune in live today at 5.20pm: www.newstalk.com/player/

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The problem, seemingly, isn’t praise, but rather overdoing it. Words like ‘perfect’ and ‘amazing’ in lieu of a perfectly amazing ‘good’, which does the job the right way.

Parents are prone to ornate praising when their child shows signs of low self-confidence, hoping that the glorifying praise will act as a kick-start to improved self-esteem. But all this superlative slinging, new evidence suggests, might discourage children from taking on challenges in life, so afraid are they that their work won’t merit the same hyperbolic praise.

No such thing as too much praise?

When children were told they had done an “incredibly beautiful drawing” those with low self-esteem were less likely to choose a challenging task afterwards than those who were told it was a “beautiful drawing”. Just one word made a difference. The question, of course, is why. The researchers speculate that inflated praise sets a standard that’s too high for them to meet, but this hypothesis hasn’t yet been tested.  

After more than 20 years researching children, Professor Carold Dweck at Standford University has suggested it might just be a case of learning how to praise better – instead of ego-stroking a child’s abilities, praise them instead for the effort they made to complete a task. In a sense, instead of telling infants their intellects are off the chart, indicate how proud you are of how hard they worked to finish a task.

Professor Dweck’s work suggests that children praised for intelligence can come to believe they cannot control it, and they warily approach any challenge that might not allow them to maintain their standards.

Studies on praising children typically only refer to the short-term effects that hyperbolic words have, and it’s near-impossible to know the long-term outcomes. But all the evidence suggests that praising children for the work and energy they put into a task is particularly effective at keeping them eager to take on new and difficult challenges.

But when it comes to staring a sheet of paper with a George Hook with 19 fingers and three eyes, there is such a thing as too much praise. 


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